R is for Rune








This is the runic alphabet, the letters that make up the Old Norse alphabet, which is part of my theme this month (Norse Mythology).

As mentioned before, Odin took up the runes and found their power. From Runes- Wikipedia:

The poem Hávamál explains that the originator of the runes was the major god Odin. Stanza 138 describes how Odin received the runes through self-sacrifice:

Veit ek at ek hekk vindga meiði a netr allar nío, geiri vndaþr ok gefinn Oðni, sialfr sialfom mer, a þeim meiþi, er mangi veit, hvers hann af rótom renn.

I know that I hung on a windy tree nine long nights, wounded with a spear, dedicated to Odin, myself to myself, on that tree of which no man knows from where its roots run.[22]

In stanza 139, Odin continues:

Við hleifi mik seldo ne viþ hornigi, nysta ek niþr, nam ek vp rvnar, opandi nam, fell ek aptr þaðan.

No bread did they give me nor a drink from a horn, downwards I peered; I took up the runes, screaming I took them, then I fell back from there.[22]

Q is for Questions

In Norse Mythology the way to wisdom (which to the Aesir is worth more than gold) is by sacrifice, hardship and seeking. Asking questions of the dead or the wise was one way to find wisdom.

When Odin traveled to Hel, land of the dead, he conjured up the ghost of a dead seeress (clairvoyant witch).
He began to ask questions in order to find out the fate of the troubled Baldur, the most beloved god in Asgard.

"Who has forced me above ground and awakened me from my death?"
"Vegtam the Wanderer. Why is Hel adorned in gold?"
"For Baldur the bright.Now I must go."
"No. You must tell me, who will slay Baldur?"
"His blind brother Hod. Now I must go."
"No. You must say, who will avenge his death?"
"Vali will be one night old when he carries Baldur's killer to the pyre."
"Who are the maidens who toss their scarves to the sky?"
"You are not Vegtam. You are Odin, old as time."
"You are a liar. You are not a seeress. You are the mother of three monsters."

As I understand it, the correct question is as important as the wisdom contained in the answer.
Who is the mother of 3 monsters?

P is for Prose Edda (Front page of the Prose Edda shown above)

The Prose Edda, also known as the Younger Edda, Snorri's Edda or simply Edda, is an Icelandic collection of prose in sections excerpts from earlier Scandanavian or skaldic poetry containing tales from Norse Mythology. The work is often assumed to have been written by the Icelandic scholar and historian Snorri Sturluson around the year 1220.

It is different from the Poetic Edda which was written earlier and anonymously. But it is certain that Snorri Sturluson used a good deal of the Poetic Edda as a basis for his Edda.

The picture above shows Odin, His two ravens thought (Hugin) and Memory (Munin) Mjollnir the hammer, Heimdall with his horn, Audumla the life-giving cow, Sleipnir (Odin's 8-legged horse) and Fenrir Wolf.


Note* My theme for the A-Z challenge is Norse Mythology. All images used are either in the public domain (like the image above) or belong to me.

O is for Odin, father of all the gods in Norse Mythology

"I hung on that tree for nine nights pierced with a spear, an offering..."

You would think reading this Odin was being tortured but he did this and more to HIMSELF in order to gain knowlege and mastery of the runes.

Some of the spells Odin learned:

Help from pain, sorrow and sickness
To Blunt an opponents weapon
Unbinding
To arrest a speeding arrow
To stop the fire that will burn his comrades
To uproot hatred in a man's heart
To protect a child from death in battle
To win the heart of a maiden

Some of the names of Odin:
Grim, Gangleri, Raider, Helmeted One, Thud, Ud, Death Blinder, Spear Thruster, One-eyed, All-Father, The Hooded One, Glapsvid, Fjolsvid, Long Beard, Vidur when in battle, and at the council of the Gods Thror.

N is for The Norse Myths by Kevin Crossley-Holland

This book has served me extremely well throughout my Norse Mythology blocks with three separate classes. This book has a wonderfully accessible introduction. The stories show a great deal of humor (similar to William Buck's Ramayana) and are very well researched giving historical references, and varying interpretations of the Norse tales and how they may have related to myths from other cultures. There is also a very helpful glossary and footnote section at the end.

N is also for Nidhogg, the dragon that lives down in Niflheim and who gnaws on the corpses of the dead.



N is for the three Norns (Urd- fate, Skuld-being and Verdandi-necessity) that weave the destiny of all who live within the 9 worlds.

The Nine Worlds in Norse Mythology are:
Asgard- Home Of the Aesir Gods
Alfheim- Home of the Light Elves
Vanaheim- Home of the Vanir Gods
Midgard- Home of the humans
Nidavellir- Home of the Dwarves
Jotenheim- Home of the Giants
Svartalfheim- Home of the Dark Elves
Niflheim- Home of the Dead
Muspelheim- Land of Fire

Note* My theme for the A-Z challenge is Norse Mythology. Last year I did a Waldorf alphabet book which can still be found on this website under April 2011 postings.

M is for Mjollnir

In Norse Mythology, (my theme for the A-Z challenge), Mjollnir was the mighty hammer that was made by the clever dwarves Brokk and Eitri, for Thor to protect Asgard and fight giants. It was an effective weapon against the hard skulls of the giants and rarely failed to deliver.

On one occasion Thor's hammer collided with the hone of the vengeful giant Hrungnir. Hrungnir was killed instantly but a piece of the hone was imbedded into Thor's head and the giant fell onto Thor pinning him.

Luckily, Thor's son Magni, who was three days/years old, came out to give his dad a hand and pulled the giant's body off of Thor. It is important to note that even Thor needs Mjollnir, his gauntlet glove and belt of strength to fight giants. While Magni was born with strength surpassing all the gods of Asgard.

The hone piece was never dislodged permanently but only loosened by an absent-minded witch named Groa who stopped in the middle of the job of taking the hone shard out because she was preoccupied by the homecoming of her missing husband.


Note* My theme for the A-Z challenge is Norse Mythology. Last year I did a Waldorf alphabet book which can still be found on this website under April 2011 postings.

L is for Logi

Logi is a giant and servant from Utgard, who is put to an eating test against Loki, the cleverest of all the Norse Gods. Below is an excerpt from the Play, "The Contest (in which Thor tries to beat the Giants on their own turf)" This is a Norse Myth play I am in the process of writing for my Fourth Grade class at a Waldorf school.

Loki:

I am hungry, kind host

And not ashamed to say

I’ll out-eat anyone here

Who is brave enough to play

Utgard-Loki:

I have a servant Logi

Who eats well enough

Let us set you each at the end

Of our banquet's eating trough!

Loki and Logi eat every last scrap of food but Logi has eaten the bones AND the trough.

Utgard-Loki:

Now Logi won’t you learn?

Tho’ I know you think it funny

When eating through the dishes

But this dinnerware costs money!

And to you, so sorry Loki

Your eating skills are neat

But Logi has eaten the vessel

Both the chaff and the wheat!

Note* My theme for the A-Z challenge is Norse Mythology. Last year I did a Waldorf alphabet book which can still be found on this website under April 2011 postings.

K is for Kvasir

An enigmatic fellow Kvasir. Known both as one of the Vanir, (traded to Asgard when a truce was reached after the feud between the Aesir and Vanir) and a god created from the spit of all the Vanir and Aesir combined.

Whatever his origin, he was well-known and beloved for his wisdom and counsel. Many came from far and wide to share their worries and ask for advice. No one who consulted with him was disappointed. So great was his fame that it reached the ears of two very wicked dwarves, who were jealous of his merit. The dwarves Fjalar and Galar invited Kvasir to their home, fed him well and then killed him with conviction. The blood that poured from his body was collected and brewed with honey to make a special mead. This mead was later called the Mead of Poetry because anyone that drank it became instantly prolific and poetic.

The dwarves continued their reign of terror until they murdered the giant Suttung's parents. Suttung was ready to repay the insult but agreed instead to take the Mead for payment for the misdeed. Suttung was unfortunately a braggard and news got out that he had the mead made from wise Kvasir's blood.

When Odin heard the news it was only a matter of time before he used his powers to take the mead (by not altogether honest means) and keep it in Asgard, mostly for himself.

Blood is a singular fluid, is it not?


Note* My theme for the A-Z challenge is Norse Mythology. Last year I did a Waldorf alphabet book which can still be found on this website under April 2011 postings.

J is for Jormungand




In Norse Mythology, one of Loki's offspring is Jormungand, the Midgard Serpent or World Serpent, so named because when he was fully grown he circled Midgard (home of humans) and grasped his own tail in his mouth.

In one of the funnier Norse tales, Thor goes fishing in Jotenheim, (the dwelling region of the giants), with the giant Hymir and to show off, Thor snags Jormungand and tries to pull him onto the fishing boat. Hymir begs him to let Jormungand go, which he does.

In the play that I am writing, Thor tries to lift a giant's cat and fails to lift anything but the cat's paw off the ground. What Thor finds out later is that he actually lifted the serpent Jormungand in diguise.


Note* My theme for the A-Z challenge is Norse Mythology. Last year I did a Waldorf alphabet book which can still be found on this website under April 2011 postings.

I is for Idunna.

Idunna was a youthful and innocent goddess in Asgard home of the Norse Gods. She was the caretaker of the golden apples that maintained the gods' youth and health. The giant, Thiazi kidnaps her in order to make life difficult for the gods but she is rescued by Loki in Freya's Falcon cloak. Thiazi is killed by the gods as he tries to take her back and his daughter, Skadi wins the hand of Njord as payment for his death.

The son's of Ivaldi are the makers of the treasures of the gods;
The golden hair of Sif which was made of gold and grew instantly to her head (to replace her real hair which Loki cut off as a prank).
Skidbladnir a marvelous ship for Freyr whose sails fill instantly with wind and when it is not in use could fit into his pocket.
Gungnir A spear for Odin which never misses its mark.

Note* My theme for the A-Z challenge is Norse Mythology. Last year I did a Waldorf alphabet book which can still be found on this website under April 2011 postings.

H is for Heimdall

the god of nine mothers, (presumably the nine waves or daughters of the sea). His name means, "the one who illuminates the world".

He was known as the purest of all the gods. He is the watchman or gatekeeper of Asgard, stationed at the Rainbow Bridge between Asgard and the heavens. He loathed Loki more than any other of the Aesir. Heimdall is also associated with Rig, who fathered the three races of men (the peasants, the craftspeople and the royalty). Heimdall carried the horn Gjallahorn which was designed to warn all the gods of the arrival of Ragnarok. He is one of the survivors of this great battle.

H is also for Hod, Baldur's blind brother who innocently kills him with a sprig of mistletoe and the friendly help of you-know-who (Loki).

Hugi is a young giant who will make an appearance in our Fourth Grade Play, "The Challenge of Utgard". He is pitted against the human Thialfi in a race. Thialfi seems to nearly beat him but Hugi is "Thought" in disguise and can not be beat by god or man.

Odin's two ravens are Hugin (thought) and Munin (memory).

G is for Gimli

The survivors of Ragnarok will live in Gimli, the most heavenly of places on earth.

G is also for Geirrod, a foster son of Odin's who did not turn out so well.

As the tale is told, young prince Geirrod and his slightly older brother Agnar, were lost at sea and rescued by Odin and Frigga (disguised as island farmers). Both gods took one child "under their wing" and taught them all they could. When spring arrived they were sent home on a sea-worthy boat.

Through treachery Geirrod became the next heir to the throne. And Odin teased Frigga about Geirrod being the superior foster child. But Frigga was disgusted and told Odin that Geirrod was a cruel king with a terrible temper. Odin did not believe this and so he went to find out if this was true. Disguised as a begging magician, Odin comes to Geirrod's hall, is tortured and taunted and finally Odin wreaks vengeance upon him. Strangely, it was Geirrod's son Agnar, named after his brother, that showed kindness to Odin and who eventually won All-father's favor.

F is for Fenrir

Why is Loki such a rascal? Well to start with he sired some pretty odious creatures. Angrboda, his girl-friend-giant and he, gave birth to Hela, who lives in Hel, the underworld in Norse Mythology. She is, stomach and upwards, relatively normal looking, but waist down she is a rotting carcass. Loki also sired Jormungand, the serpent who encircles midgard. But most alarming is Fenrir. Fenrir is a giant wolf with more malice than anyone can say. So frightened were the gods that they tricked him into trying out a chain, made by the crafty dwarves with binding spells, that is unbreakable. Fenrir will be chained up until Ragnarok, the battle that pits all the gods against every evil creature in existence within all 9 worlds.

E is for Evil

Among all the gods in Norse Mythology, this describes Loki pretty well. But because he is really central to the stories he is more like a necessary evil. He makes things happen and gets things moving. He is also quite charming and at times very funny.

"Evil creature, good companion."

This quote would probably sum up Thor's relationship with Loki and will also be one of the first things Thor says in our play, "The Contests of Utgard". It starts out like this-

"It is open season in Jotenheim (the domain of the giants)", says Thor.
"You will need sharp wits," replies Loki.
"Sharp wits?!" responds Thor.
"Yes. Yours are as dull as your hammer."
A beat.
"Evil creature. Good companion."

And so the two journey to Jotenheim in Thor's chariot pulled by his two immortal goats. And eventually arrive at Utgard where Thor is put to his tests and Loki joins an eating contest he cannot win.

D is for Dragon and Dwarves

Dvalin's Delight is the name the dwarves in Norse Mythology give to the sun. Dvalin was a dwarf who was turned to stone by the light of the sun. So dwarves have a sense of humor. And a deep love of gold and beautifully designed metals. Much of these are hoarded and at times stolen by dragons.

One of the most famous of these hoarding dragons can be found in the story of Sigurd, a Norse hero. Fafnir is found in the Norse tales as a magician's son who's brother is accidentally killed by Loki. Loki pays a hefty ransom for the payment of this killing. Fafnir kills his father for the treasure and becomes Fafnir the dragon.

In The Hobbit, by JRR TOLKIEN, the dragon Smaug has a hoard of dwarf treasure and many of the dwarves named in his book share the names of dwarves in Norse Mythology, (Dvalin being one). Another interesting similarity is the ring that topped Fafnir's treasure which cursed any who held it except its maker, Andavari. A cursed ring is central to the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings.

C is for Cauldron

The gods were running out of Mead, a thick and potent drink. Aegir was the only one who could make enough mead for everyone but he insisted that the Gods provide the cauldron.The Cauldron of Hymir was the only one large enough to hold the mead needed for a feast for the Gods. Hymir was a giant who really hated the Aesir race (Norse Gods in Asgard), but fostered Odin's son Tyr, the god of war who was able to convince his foster father to let a disguised Thor compete for his favors.

The cauldron features in many stories about witches and magic spells. It is a place for creating medicine that is beyond the understanding of this world.

There is no cauldron in the play I am writing but there is a contest between Thor and some giants. The title of the play will be, "The Contests of Utgard".

The cast includes:
Thor
Loki
Thialfi (a poor farm boy)
Roskva (a poor farm girl and sister to Thialfi)
Skrymir (The king of Utgard in disguise)
Utgard-Loki (The king of Utgard)
Hugi (Thought disguised as a giant)
Logi (Fire disguised as a giant)
Elli (Old age disguised as a giant)
Jormungand (disguised as a grey cat)

My class size is limited so the children may have to take on 2 roles.

Following the theme of Norse Mythology, Baldur is the son of Odin and Frigga. He and his wife Nanna are the embodiment of goodness and beauty. Their son Forseti is the embodiment of Justice (or truth). These are the foundational themes of Waldorf education; Goodness, Beauty and Truth.

Beauty and Beingness

I call her Beauty
Not just because she is but because
She makes me feel it.

But what is that? What does that mean, and why would it matter
Since noone can agree what beauty is.

Perhaps beauty is a sense of harmony with the beingness of that
Which elevates us.

Perhaps it doesn’t matter.
But it seems much of what surrounds us appeals to our lower nature.

The corporate “grim reaper” with eyes that shine like the glint of clean stainless steel appliances,

Or

Chat rooms and comments that solicit meaningless and sometimes violent banter

The face of George Zimmerman
And the defeated look on the faces of the parents of the child he murdered.

I prefer to spend my time focusing on those things that strike a human chord like
The feeling I got when I heard the president singing Al Green,

My students’ earnest explanations,

Or the discovery of a fairy garden made of found natural objects and magpie sparkles.

My stunning-brown-skinned daughter’s idea of beauty is a blond Disney princess and some of my students like to draw violent scenes of zombies and aliens and I am not sure at times how to respond.

But if I think about beauty enough, some of what I DO is beauty because then I am in the being-ness too,

admiring the strong, white teeth of the dead dog laying on the side of the road.

Welcome to the A-Z challenge and please note:

All the words and art displayed on this blog belong to me (unless otherwise noted) and is part of my practice of being a student/teacher/mom/wife/artist who is working out of Anthroposophy (the philosophy of Rudolf Steiner and the foundation of Waldorf Education).

The theme of my A-Z challenge is Norse Mythology as I am in the process of writing a musical play for my 4th grade students. This will be my help-mate.

The gods in Asgard were true artists- All-father Odin most of all as he hung on the tree for 9 days, sacrificing himself for knowledge, which for the gods was not a materialistic gain but a true embodiment of wisdom.


Artist
by 50 foot Queenie

You forgot the time
while the chalk and the glue
and the paint and the newspaper
gathered in increasingly potent arrangements.

The last verse must be left for editing later as the
Moment is not yet ripe.

Do not clean up.
Do not bathe.
Phone ringing is like background music to the meditation
Of this now-ness.

Rehearsal time belongs to the Call.
And when you hear it
All is nothing,
It is all.

Could you be someone else
In five minutes?
Could you transform your whole way
of seeing the world overnight?

This is the work.

After putting my beauty booty to bed I decided to spend the rest of the evening with PJ Harvey. I listened to Terri Gross' interview from last year and downloaded "Let England Shake" which is brilliant and devastating. This is an album about war, death, beauty, country loyalty, home and is a big departure from much of Harvey's previous work in that it seems like she has moved beyond the personal and into the inspired.

War photographer, Seamus Murphy directed 12 short films to accompany the songs on the album.

Here are PJ Harvey's words:


"Death was everywhere,
in the air
and in the sounds
coming off the mounds
of Bolton's Ridge.
Death's anchorage.
When you rolled a smoke
or told a joke,
it was in the laughter
and drinking water
it approached the beach
as strings of cutters,
dropped into the sea and lay around us.

Death was in the ancient fortress,
shelled by a million bullets
from gunners, waiting in the copses
with hearts that threatened to pop their boxes,
as we advanced into the sun
death was all and everyone.

Death hung in the smoke and clung
to 400 acres of useless beachfront.
A bank of red earth, dripping down death
now, and now, and now
in the air
and in the sounds
coming off the mounds
of Bolton's Ridge.
Death's anchorage.
Death was in the staring sun,
fixing its eyes on everyone.
It rattled the bones of the Light Horsemen
still lying out there in the open

as we, advancing in the sun
sing "Death to all and everyone.""

A whole week off from school.
Strange. But not uncalled for. The road conditions since late Tuesday have been increasingly challenging with the latest ice storm impossible to drive in.
We have been told it will soon melt but as of now, 9:30 am we still have an inch of ice covering everything.

Last night we built another fire (we are running out of wood), made popcorn(the last of it) and watched Singing in the Rain. Booty laughed hysterically at the part of the movie when Donald O'Connor sings, Make 'em Laugh.

Our fish, Sophie and Lena (not related to Lena Lamont) are doing very well. They do seem a bit food obsessed but we too have been a little food glutted during this storm. I believe I reached the sugar-saturation stage experienced by most shut ins yesterday afternoon after demolishing a Lindt orange liquor and Dark chocolate bar with a slice of Wednesday's granola crumble apple pie.

Time for us to get out!

Recorded two days ago in Seattle.

Now an ice storm.
Booty is outside on the back pork attacking the ice-crutsted snow with a small rake.
We have an ice phenomena happening today that doesn't usually happen (well snow doesn't usually happen either) in this area.

If you are from the Northeast this kind of thing is commonplace but if you know a little about weather and how it is affected by the geography etc. you know that sometimes events like this are so addictive. I can't get enough information.

For more good Seattle area weather information check out this awesome blog:

Cliff Mass'

Happy Birthday, Martin Luther King Jr.!
We have had one seriously exciting week!



We were so excited to see how Booty would react to her first snow. So thrilled that Mr. D was able to witness it, (and take a picture or two).





Tuesday and Wednesday our school called a snow day. We ended up making apple pie, soup, pancakes, setting up an aquarium...



Building a fire, reading and playing lots and lots of Mancala and Uno.



And it feels pretty complete. However, we have another snow day tomorrow. That leaves us with one day of school this week.

Tonight I sang the Martin Luther King song for Booty,

"We bake a cake. We blow it out.
Happy Martin Luther King we shout.
I have a dream, he said
All people hand in hand
Working and singing throughout the land."

Christmas may be over but we are still celebrating.
Today we returned from Portland, Oregon; a lovely 2 day trip filled with lots of good food (Ethiopian, Thai and Organic)and a little bit of Musical theater (Willy Wanka) at Northwest Children's Theater and School and lovely cousin time (with David who has lived in Portland for 20 years). Before the show we survived the Children's Museum (much too crowded to enjoy).
We went to Voodoo Doughnuts and enjoyed the decadence of sweets unholy and then went to Craven Raven for the holy gluten free version.

The weather has been mild and sunny for December. Three cheers for a great New Year! Lets hope we find more clarity and belongingness than ever before!!!!!

Our friend Toni sent us one of these and we were inspired so here is our version:

Jib Jab Christmas song from our family

Happy, Merry and Joy to all you naughty children!

Nutcracker bound. Christmas Revels up next!

Living the days like each day is a vacation
Something special is happening!
Lots of conflict means lots of activity
and possibility
for healing.
The students are naughty
so we can be good.
The students endure
so we can make mistakes.

And learn

of course!

Our school is going through a major crisis and I haven't posted because I haven't been able to write it down. Without blaming anyone it seems that the school is experiencing a potentially lethal fiscal situation. Because of this the school is losing students every day. I am not sure if I will be employed next month but will keep you posted.

Today the weather is lovely with blue skies. A bald eagle flew over the playground and the children cried out to it.

Interesting times.

It has been over a week since we started at The Tacoma Waldorf School. Booty is enjoying it but prefers not to stay for after-care which is unavoidable when I am teaching. Otherwise, students are beginning to adjust and I am beginning to learn how to teach them. Mostly, just re-evaluating my expectations.

Mt. Rainier looms large, the passing freight trains enter our dream-life and the sigh inducing sunsets hold on just a little longer.

Getting up mighty early to make sure to do my practice and be ready to leave the house packed and prepared by 730. When monsoon season starts I am sure everything will shift again.

Mr. D continues to travel back and forth from his crazy work meetings yonder to home. I hope his suitcase does not disintegrate en route. It is looking a little battered.

Booty enjoys whatever she is offered. A patch of flowers, a red wagon, gems, anything really especially engagement. Lots and lots of ENGAGEMENT.

The first known name for Mt. Ranier was Tahoma. Maybe Tacoma is a dirivitive of this name. Booty makes a game of finding Mt. Ranier when the sky is clear and we can see east. Mount Rainier is a stratavolcano.

The mountains in this picture (in the distance) are the Olympics. When the sun is shining we can see these beauties over Bremerton/Gig Harbor way.

Our shipment is due to arrive tonight. We should be geared up by next week.

We like our trees BIG!
However, we are still looking for a decent restaurant. I am afraid Tacoma is still experiencing a bit of a "Townie" attitude toward culinary expertise but my fears may be based in ignorance. We shall see.
Today while checking out the nearby community pool I noticed the swimming instructor overseeing his swimmers while wearing jeans and a baseball cap. Not very promising.
On the upside, Booty's camp teacher is a wonderful young college student (and Olympia Waldorf school graduate) who is studying in India next year. She is a blessing to us all!

We finally found a Waldorf job and home to rent in Tacoma. It is in a residential area and overlooks the Puget Sound (see picture). I am very pleased with the house as it has plenty of space for Booty to play outside (both under cover and out in the open) and plenty of nice spots inside for us all to work and play. We move August 1st. It is going to be a busy month!

It is also very close to Port Defiance ferry which takes us to Vashon Island, and our dear friends.

Our blessings are many. Here are a few of them.
How we love A and H.

On our way to Seattle.
We have had our sun.
And our family.
Now we shall see what else is in store for us.
Above, Pemaquid Beach and Dodge Point in Maine.

Today's collection

Highlights from our return home include two great visits with my youngest brother in Cincinnati, a stay at Walden Pond and visits with Vivien, and our reunion in Rockland Maine with gorgeous people and a perfect view.

We are still here in Rockland, thankful for the double rainbow on the sea and yet longing for our homeward bound friends and Mr. D, who is now off on his own adventure.

K's pre-graduation lunch. And the beautiful graduate we all adore.

We are leaving Ohio today after a solidly beneficial visit with minimal conflict.
Booty was able to bond with her cousins in a healthy way (no babying and some good boundary testing). I was able to share the grief of the last 3 years with Mr. D's family and felt heard. Had a very pleasant day with my brother(just the two of us) in Cincinnati and a lovely dinner with him (with Booty and H) at a fairly good Ethio place in the city.

The weather has been pretty good and aside from the shark attack of a seizure at the nephews's graduation (the day before I left for San Diego) all is well, not great mind you but well.

The myth that in middle age life becomes easier is one big laughable prank. On me? On anyone like me who may still be working with the questions in life and learning how to accept moments, crappy and lovely and the feelings that go with them.

Without trying to control them.

The month ahead will be a continuation of suitcase living (not my favorite) and ambiguity around what the next year will hold. My head cannot fathom another year of joblessness. My heart yearns for the healing forces of the natural world. And the stress factor of yet another move, another limbo year has really undermined my strength and patience for the every day bumps and stops.

Sometimes I wonder, is this the dream of groundlessness? The reality that we all fear and avoid?

Here at San Diego airport waiting to board an early flight back to Ohio. On the way to the airport via the car rental shuttle, the driver asked me, "Where is home?" and I nearly broke down and cried.

I may not be without a home but I am surely feeling a lack of belongingness.
Above, the surfing madonna, seen on an underpass in Encinitas. She is also being asked to leave.

Having applied to three different schools and been denied at all three I need to ask the question,

"Why do I long painfully for a home when it is clear the universe wants me to wander?"

Thanks Mary for sharing this on facebook. It speaks my mind.

I bet you have seen this sort of thing before. We know this feeling. It has become very familiar. "All that you can't leave behind" packed in boxes. There should be a more "green" way to do this. So much cardboard! Sigh.



"Daddy is number one"- middle finger
"Mommy is number two"- ring finger
And "baby is number three"- pinky finger

I am ok with that.

My Husband thinks all I do in my vast amount of free time is blog. I have been wanting to post lately but my last post seems more important than anything I want to say about our move and my struggles to stay authentic and upright/centered.

I love all my blogging/facebook friends. And I think it is important to note I know you all personally. I say this because it is part of why I blog and post to facebook. I want to stay in touch with family and friends. I NEED to stay in touch with them for my sanity. I am so grateful for those moments within the last 3 years overseas when I got to share a joke or hear a silly/interesting story or even share in the latest sorrow. Thanks peeps, you are not a "collection" but a small and precious team of loving people who have supported me no questions asked. We live and become.

That said, once I start teaching again which may be very soon, I won't have the time to blog as much (if at all). I started blogging when I stopped teaching. Teaching in a Waldorf school requires an immense amount of physical, psychological, intellectual and emotional energy. Not to say that anyone else's job doesn't. But for me, to be happy with the quality of my teaching work, I need to do a bit of preparation each day.

And then there is Booty. She will need me too as Mr. D will be traveling and starting a new (and exciting) project as well. She will be in a bigger community of families and adapting to yet another country. A lot to ask a little one.

We will be flying out of Singapore in two weeks!

Watch the full episode. See more FRONTLINE.

Why Ai Weiwei?


"Currently 'disappeared' artist Ai Weiwei's work, 'Circle of Animals/Zodiac Heads', has just been unveiled at the Grand Army Plaza in New York City, with Mayor Michael Bloomberg speaking out on Ai's present detainment. Bloomberg declared that the occasion was 'bittersweet,' and that the lack of information regarding Ai's whereabouts was 'disturbing.'"

From the Shanhaiist

An interview with Ai Weiwei before he was taken into custody can be read here.


Everything I have seen and read about Ai Weiwei points to a man of unflagging integrity and an artist who is willing to take full responsibility for his art and country. I have been following the increasingly threatening tone of the Chinese government's dealings with him and it is maddening. And now he is in custody but noone knows where he is.

His comments in the interview linked above speak directly to something of great concern to the world regarding China's growth:

"TVDW: How much time do you think China is still need for greater respect for human rights? Short or long term?

Ai Weiwei: I do not think the issue of human rights can ever improve without a struggle. The government and the system is radically refusing any discussion. There is no room for it. And with their daily political mistakes, the rights of more and more people are being violated. So they also suppress the people. For this is the price for China’s rapid development. You know, if human rights were respected, China would never develop so quickly. They sacrifice our fundamental rights. And that seems to work, so why would they change?"

Conduct took my mojo
She bore it on the rough water
Of difficult situations

Swam fish-like
Jumping over waves
Of entitlement, righteousness, aggression and impatience

And when my mojo began
its journey seaward the angels laughed,
“Let’s see what she does now.”

Yes. I yelled and screamed
I admit it but it is tiresome to detail.
Suffice to say foolishness is rarely dramatic enough
For me

So finally
And then

I began to ask questions
Will gratitude build a raft of humility?
Perhaps I must wait for conduct to return
While practicing the other neglected traits

Or maybe I will
Float on the current of trust
Letting the reeds of plenty
Caress my generous legs

Small nibbling sunfish clean
My open hands
While the tide pulls me out
To the mother of all
Frail, mistaken pilgrims
To be made anew

And then will I be prepared to receive
My wayward mojo
From Conducts noble arms?

Or is this me,
now?

Just bought this incredible book of Japanese Papers with a cd of the images.
Now if I could only learn how to compress them properly so I could use them on the blog.
Ggghhh*!

The Plan:


The plan is to fly from Singapore to Ohio at the end of May.
See what happens with the job search and possibly interview one last round before school is out.
Then on to New England to visit with peeps and family in June.
Onward in July to Seattle, or California to settle for at least one year or heaven only knows for years with a teaching job in a Waldorf school where we can ultimately live, grow and become, roots and all!

*Butterfly at Changi airport, Singapore