Singapore English = Singlish

One stormy morning last week we found the living room floor blanketed with termites. There were little pulsing piles of them in spots, still slightly alive I guess.

Yesterday Booty and I had to leave the house for the day so the pest control dudes could come and rid us of our termites. They needed to rip up several floor boards as the bugs were living inside.

Booty and I spent the morning at Rochester House, a new hang out spot for moms on the west side of Singapore. Rochester House is an outdoor cafe (slightly upscale) which reflects the neighborhood (swank) with an adjoining bungalow house designed for play. The first floor is set up entirely with toys and activities for the 1-6 year old and the second floor is for the older (read jaded) children who play video games and watch movies while mom and dad sip espresso or dine. This location used to be home to the restaurant Cassis. It has been open for 2 weeks.

Booty was in heaven and played for 2 hours with all the loud toys she would never have at home. Then she sat for another hour with me and ate lasagne (basania). A little lady she is becoming.

We rode the train home from Buena Vista (a 35 minute train ride) and cabbed it from Bedock. When we returned home after 230 the house was still topsy turvy. The entrance door had the frame ripped out and the furniture was piled up in the middle of the floor.

Tomorrow we are going to Celestial Resort in Pulau Ubin. We will take a bum boat out from Changi ferry. It will be a rustic vacation, and cheaper. So it suits me fine. Also a 10 minute bumboat ride from Singapore. How can you beat that? I know, just stay home huh?

We may not be going anywhere this weekend due to the fact that some unnamed people don't check their passports to see if they have enough pages left for a Visa stamp.
My first thought when I found out was to send a text U R an A** but I edited myself and sat myself down for practice and shut my mouth the heck up. My second thought later was, "so little time so much to get angry about".

When I think these unwelcome thoughts I have to ask myself, "Why are you angry? Does it mean so much to you?" And my answer is of course, "No." SO?

Issues of anger come up again and again for me. This started when I got married and has grown worse the farther away from home I am. And what is home?

Exactly.
Where is safety? I am finding out that safety HAS to be inside me or I am in a deep mess of doo.

This is why I have been taking the time during my "sabbatical" to do some inner work.

Oh. And another thing.
We may not be going to the US this summer due to a number of reasons but the biggest one is that I need to jump start my life so that when I do go back to the States I am returning to a job, life, work etc. I can't continue to enter into other people's culture if I don't have mine fermenting as well.

The math talk went well but I have been down with an upper respitory "thing" since. And now Booty has it as well.

On the up side, hopefully we will be in good shape by next weekend when we are planning on going to Batam (45 min. ferry ride) with our friends Harpreet and Simi (and their 3 kids).

On the down side, Booty has an incredible cold. And the exterminators are coming tomorrow to start dealing with our TERMITES. Which means out of the house for 6 hours.

On the up side, Booty is sleeping and drinking tea and soup.

Upcoming talk by Elizabeth Doshi

Did you "hate" math growing up? Or does your child dislike it now? Perhaps you are wondering if it matters how math is taught in schools as long as the students "get it". Explore these questions and find out how one Waldorf teacher discovered her hidden love of math.

"Moving Mathematics: A comparative look at the teaching of mathematics in Waldorf and mainstream schools."

Date: Saturday, 17 April

Time: 2-4 pm

Venue: 72 Elite Park Ave


A teaser from my talk...

Why compare mainstream or private school math pedagogy with Waldorf school's? I am interested in exploring how children develop their relationship to their learning (in particular math). I was not fond of math as a child. Was it me or my teachers? In order to answer this we need to ask, What are the ways in which we introduce math topics and teach them? As children grow, does math teaching change? Another important perspective I need to share today is the different methods of evalutation in the public and private sector which I believe makes a profound difference in teaching, specifically the practice of testing compared to assessment. Which comes first, the test or the child? And finally I want to ask one of the most important questions, the one that becomes the hidden lesson “Each day what is being offered to the students or, what is being educated in the child?”

Le renard et l'enfant

A beautiful nature film but with a harsh ending.
Magical and innocent and then at the end suddenly the film turns the young girl ugly-like she grew up and became exploitive.
Warning to parents with young children, don't let your kids watch after the girl "plays leash" with the fox at a logging site. I was a bit surprised at the change of tone.
A morality film?

Finally finished, "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier.



I think the book is very valuable. But not just for those who are adopted. If you have lost your mother (even temporarily) because of death, physical illness, divorce, workaholism, or psychological illness you will see yourself in this book. For many adopted people this book was a breakthrough- verbalizing all kinds of hidden feelings and thoughts. Nancy Verrier is a wonderful speaker and has a great deal of courage to bring forth ideas that are highly controversial and difficult to define.

My only objection to this book is the omission of the spiritual element of destiny. Stop reading now if you don't believe in this mumbo jumbo but I do, so I will continue. If you believe, as I do, that you choose your parents. You also choose your adoptive parents. This means you have a specific destiny with your adopted family, just as you have a genetic destiny that was provided by your birth parents.
By omitting this, you portray the child as a victim who must be healed by destiny issues. This doesn't make sense to me.

My adopting/adopted friends are ALL aware of the genetic differences of their children and they honor these differences and when possible provide occasions for their children to "see themselves" in other faces, and to belong to groups that help to describe their identity. And as our children grow we begin to invite conversations around how we are different and how we can do better.

We are living in a very different time. Many of us have and will return to our children's homelands, (sometimes to work and ease suffering). Most of our friends have helped communities build wells, hospitals, libraries and schools. And there are even families I know who are helping to support organizations that keep children with their mothers, (like in Korea).

I like to focus on the positive and would have liked to have seen some solutions or "ideal situations", instead the ending focused on the physical body of the adopted child.

How about the whole child? Those beautiful eyes! That great singing voice! And Oh! That sense of humor and love of life!!!

It is a long road I know. And as a mom I fail miserably more often than I would like. But I really believe our daughter belongs to us and we belong to her. That means we are all Ethiopian, Indian, and American in our family.
With a dash of Sing-a-POH
LA!

Terima Kasih (Thank You)
Isn't It?

On Tuesday night with my heart in my throat I got into a cab and headed for the airport. Waiting to board the plane to Bali a rainbow blossomed in the sky. Still I felt lost without the person (my daughter) I have spent the last 2 years with 7 days a week.

Landed, after 2 hour flight, in Bali at 940pm. The streets were filled with motorcycles and it had rained. The cab window was open and one motorcyclist rode through a puddle next to the cab and the water came in and splashed my face. I wiped off my glasses and decided not to be indignant.

The retreat/AMC (advanced Meditation Course) was held at the Inna Grand Bali Beach Resort
and my room overlooked the beach and sea.



First night of the AMC (Amateur Meditation Course) we all boarded a cruise ship and had dinner and satsang with Guruji. The speakers were abusively loud but I was a smart cookie and brought earplugs which were in place the entire evening. Too bad I couldn't really enjoy the Bajhan singer, Siddharth Mohan who's voice is very wonderful. Luckily, Guruji winked at me and that makes up for anything bad that happened. (I realize he may have winked at someone else but the feeling at the time was that we connected so who cares?)



Morning practice at 545 is on the beach with the ants and spiders. :)
And lead by Kumlesh who is a Sri Sri Yoga teacher based in the Bangalore ashram and without a doubt one of the most accomplished teachers I have had in Art of Living. Warm, silly, competent, gifted and gorgeous- her form is very balanced. We practiced long Kreeya, Padma Sadana, Sun Salutation and Silliness 101.

Throughout the course the sound system feedback and unexpected stops and starts, added to the constant cell phone ringing, sneezing, coughing, belching, snoring and unearthly noises from people in a deep state of nothingness, all brought me to a state of giddiness unrivaled in my life. It was so beyond the beyond it was hilarious. I began instead of meditating, to entertain myself with What if... At one point I started laughing out of control and the beautiful Swami (Jotimaya) gave me a penetrating look.



The first afternoon we were instructed to change halls and when we arrived Swamiji was giving his blessing. I sat in disbelief for an hour watching the line of people receiving his hand on their heads. My thoughts went from,
"What a waste of time! I don't even know this swami. Why should I get up and stand in line. Don't we have real work to do?"
to
"Look at the way everone's face softens as they approach the swami. Look at how humble people are as they stand before this man, who looks like he is watching a beautiful sunset and who's arm seems untiring."
Just before the last person was blessed I got up and when his hand went to my head I thought of the energy of 100 hugs directed to him. When I looked up he was smiling at me- in understanding. He got my hugs!

In the evening I took the Sahaj Samadhi course and was given a mantra. At first I didn't like my mantra. I had a hard time saying it in my head, (the mantra is a secret that shouldn't be uttered aloud). Eventually it became natural and started to do its "magic".

Most of the Russian group did not engage with anyone outside of their group, that is, no smiling, eye contact, seva, or waiting in line. Perhaps they didn't understand the instructions. But surely they didn't comprehend that it is the Indians' job to cut in line. I thought, "When we are out of silence someone ought to set them straight on this matter."

There were translators for some of the many countries participating.
1 Argentina 2 Australia
3 Austria 4 Bahrain
5 Belgium 6 Brazil
7 Bulgaria 8 Cambodia
9 Canada 10 China
11 Cyprus 12 Denmark
13 Egypt 14 Estonia
15 Finland 16 France
17 Germany 18 Greece
19 Hungary 20 Iceland
21 India 22 Iran
23 Ireland 24 Italy
25 Japan 26 Kuwait
27 Laos 28 Liechtenstein
29 Luxembourg 30 Maldives
31 Malta 32 Mexico
33 Monaco 34 Netherlands
35 New Zealand 36 Norway
37 Oman 38 Poland
39 Portugal 40 Qatar
41 Russia 42 Saudi Arabia
43 South Africa 44 South Korea
45 Spain 46 Surinam
47 Sweden 48 Switzerland
49 Taiwan Territory 50 United Arab Emirates
51 United Kingdom 52 USA

The feedback from the earpieces being worn by those using the translators sounded quite painful at times. No swearing was heard during the entire course. However, during an especially physically difficult practice there were several Chinese men who cried out in Mandarin what sounded like profanities. My friend Joo Hymn let me know they were actually saying stuff like, "I love my entire family!!!!" A good lesson huh?

One of the reasons I was able to sit for most of the day was the twice daily hike to and from the first to tenth floor of the resort. Whenever there was cleaning in one hall the organizers would switch the location of the course to the other hall. The elevators only held 8-10 people at a time and were extremely slow so moving 500 people via 3 elevators didn't seem like a good option for me ( 18 elevator trips) and when I took into consideration that my a** was taking such a beating from all the crossed-leg sitting we were doing I had to take the stairs.



I didn't figure out how to get hot water or AC until the third day. Who would have thought that this button would be the answer to these problems?

Got very hungry at one point in the middle of the course and bought a milk (!!!) chocolate bar with almonds. I don't usually enjoy milk chocolate, but I felt like Charlie eating his first Wonka chocolate. Delicious. Later, my stomach was a little disappointed with my choice as I had until then been eating fruit and salad with rice and dal.

Being in silence when the world around you is cacophonous is a practice fit for our times and well worth the effort. Being in silence when given a seva activity can be a little tricky. I was told to clean the beach of all garbage and leaves. After an hour of cleaning the shore and removing with my bare hands all the trash from the cement garbage catches I was then told to put all the trash back into the same catches I had removed it from, (instead of putting it in a dumpster as I had thought).

Want Nothing
Do Nothing
Be Nothing

This is Something!
As it is hard for the Go! person inside me.
Advice to people like me:
Get lots of excersize and at the very least do 30 minutes of yoga before you do your sitting practice.

After coming out of silence most of my friends wept in gratitude. I did not. I think I was still laughing inside.



On the last day we were arranged in country groups (I with the Singapore group-my friends) and Sri Sri Ravi Shankar my guru made the rounds.
"Are you happy?"



The next morning I went for a swim with JH and then to the spa for a massage which was Heaven! Nothing like my appointments with pain. But then again I was in pretty good shape when I lay down for treatment. A beautiful spa! Ginger tea after in this beautiful garden. KISS!