It is snail season again. Time for me to gaze lovingly and in awe of these steadfast creatures.

We went to the hospital (Raffles) today for day surgery, (routine stuff for the H) and both my husband and I marvelled at the tendency of doctors here to wildly prescribe, prescribe, Prescribe! And the things they say! They speak as if the body is made up of independently moving parts.

This Saturday is Open Day at the Waldorf Kinder. Lots of games and food and crafty items. I haven't lifted a finger. It is my last chance to slack before I become a Waldorf Kinder parent. And when you become a PARENT of a Waldorf student it is all work, work, work! So here I am, barely employed shirking my duty as the new Administrator for the school. Truth is, I am totally over my head taking on this job. I am going to have to learn a lot in the next few months- web design, graphic design, and the detestable excel to name a few things. If you know anything about html please write to me.


Turtle loaf (the one with all the bumpies) and snail bread by mom and booty.

Lots of things on my mind. Reading "The Secret History of the World" by Jonathan Black. Pondering the 10 suicides at the factory in China (and the increase in attacks on schoolchildren in China). The 4th Japanese prime minister to resign in 4 years. The Thai rebellion. And the BP oil spill. Like everyone, I have questions but I feel it is important where I try to find the answers. I don't think companies like Goldman Sachs can act ethically without incentives. And I don't think I can reasonably understand other cultures without putting the lens of my own culture over my eyes. What am I doing here if not to learn something about how to understand the world?

New Projects:

ABC book for Waldorf homeschoolers and people who want to see what first graders do with letters.
An extended day program at the kindergarten for multi-age group.
Craft camp next month for five days.
Waldorf Administrator for the Waldorf Steiner Education Association (Singapore).
Public Talk series with once a month talk on element of Waldorf Education.
Enrichment Program on Saturdays for children 6-11 (ongoing)
Craft parent education (pay per class)

Rachel Maddow is on fire. She was sounding to me a little like a serious, female version of Jon Stewart. This video is long but I think interesting because she talks about how a US Senate candidate for Kentucky (Rand Paul) has struck the tuning fork for racism in America. I agree.

The sun woke me up this morning, (not the cats or the girl). It was nice.
We rode the bikes (and burley) to get coffee and bagels then to the big playground we just discovered in our neighborhood. Booty likes the adult section better than the children's section, so we hung out there checking out the exercise equipment. Next door there is a croquet court and it is always busy with local people playing. Today there was a tournament. You could hear them calling out after shots, "Ahhhh!" or sometimes they sneak in a little english, "You never see that ball!". On our way to unlock the bikes we came upon the familiar site of the Filipino aunties sitting with their employer's dogs. The dogs were leashed to the children's climbing structure and when I tried to say hi to one little Jack Russel he bit me. I couldn't explain to the woman that dogs bite when they are leashed too much and not walked enough. Oh well. Some doggies are like this also.

Last week we went to my friend Nikki's house in the center of town. She has two shelter dogs. Both are more gentle than most dogs I know. George, the shepherd mix ambled up to the gate when we arrived, sniffed and wagged his tail. Very gentle and lovely. The entire visit was filled with sweet dog sniffs and one gentle and tender dog lick from Sidney. It made me long for doggie love. Some dogs are like THIS also.

Starting a new project of alphabet book, in the first grade Waldorf main lesson book style. See "A" above.

Last night I went on skype and was able to see, and be seen by, my friend in Chicago. My new MacBook has a built in video camera. What a treat. Not alone! Not Alone!!

This morning I went to a learning center called Julia Gabriel downtown Singapore. It is a hugely successful business for families who want their children to be more expressive and interactive with their learning. It runs mostly on the weekends and each class for children ages 2-18 lasts for one to one and a half hours. It reminded me of the way I taught public school in Chicago. The teachers are real lovers of learning and of children. Unfortunately for me it would be a step back from what I really believe in, which is letting children experience their own development through the body and the arts before the intellect is tapped. It seems that the children were enjoying themselves in the small classroom but my perspective is that they are pushed too far into what we call "parts thinking" and not so much into the gesture of language- the sounds and their meanings, the numbers and their relationship to the whole world. Just because you can read doesn't mean you have a healthy, balanced relationship to language. And this creates thinkers that are not able or willing to solve big problems. Just small ones. Which may lead to problems in the big world.

Imagine you have dry lips and they are so chapped nothing you put on them helps but the doctors decide to give you a special cream with hormones to solve your problem. The cream causes more serious problems and your original problem was only dehydration. Why don't we treat illness like whole body illness? Why can't we educate the whole child?

What Singapore needs is sensory integration schooling. The children need to feel their bodies (clay, tumbling on a mat, art, singing, marching, climbing etc.) and feel themselves in the world as important and loved. Not like little students with their portfolios.

Singapore just earned the title "most competitive nation". How dreadful.

Whatcha readin"?

Right now I am reading "The Story of Forgetting" by Stefan Merrill Block and "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. Having already read, "What the dog saw", "The Tipping Point" and "Outliers" I figured I should read the best seller. I like Malcolm Gladwell's work.

Movies?

Watched Douglas Fairbanks' "Thief of Bagdad" last week and LOVED it, which surprised me because it is a silent movie. But it includes a magic rope, magic carpet, white winged horse, mermaids, a dragon, a very excellent evil khan Mongal, and lots more.
And last night "Grapes of Wrath" a John Ford adaptation of Steinbeck's novel.
the cast is phenomenal (Henry Fonda!!!) and the screenplay excellent.

For the last few weeks we have had a Filipino Eurythmist stay with us, Grace. She is so warm and fun to talk to. Booty loves having the company. And Mr.D is doing some therapy with her which is really great! Selamat Grace! (Thank you in Filipino)

Girl. How I feel too!

I am grateful for:

My beautiful daughter, my lovely house, my helpful live-in maid, my strong body, my loving heart, my Guru, Rudolf Steiner, my friends and family altho' they seem like a dream from a long ago time, my cats when they aren't waking me up, my husband who hasn't quite given up on me yet (I hope), and the divine light that keeps me optimistic despite my feelings of hopelessness.

That which makes me feel crazy and finished:

Many things...
but I know this too will pass.

When I went to long Kreeya today (breathing meditation with Art of Living fellows) I was followed into the building by a short old man with a beard and a fez. He asked me a question which I didn't understand as I pressed the elevator button. He seemed lost. He pointed up and I said, "Art of Living meditation" which he didn't understand but as I had put my hand gently on his shoulder he put his hand on my waist and then before I knew it he was patting my butt. I (again) gently pulled his hand away. And as the empty elevator door opened I quickly asked myself if I could hold my own with this guy, yes. I waved him in first. I wasn't going to fall for that again. As we rode up he asked his question again and again I didn't understand so again (he he) I said, "Art of Living meditation". "Meditation!" he smiled and I got off the elevator.

My friend at meditation seemed shocked to see my short hair. I cut it again last week. It is funny how differently people from the east react to short hair on women. Why did you do it???!!! Like there was some sort of drastic reason. I like my hair super short. I am also aware that I look very masculine with short hair so I try to wear make up and dress a little nicer. But I certainly didn't cut my hair to shock or offend anyone. People from the US and from Europe don't seem to be affected by it. I know I am generalizing but I had short hair in Chicago for many years and it was never an issue. Well, except for my mum. She does not like it short.

Why is it so hard to find lumber!
Or a play structure/frame for the booty!
I have been searching online for hours and failed to find plywood to build something (like a climbing wall for the girl) or a wooden play structure like this (by Plum in the UK) for our back yard.

Please spread the word!

This is a pretty cool project and if you pitch in you will get a very unique "comic book style" portrait. C'mon! The artist only has two weeks to raise his goal! Just check it out:
Click here: Portrait Project

Also for more examples of Ryan-Alexander Tanner's work click here:

www.ohyesverynice.com

My picture of the Oriental Pied Hornbill



And



Wild Singapore's picture

For Nature Lovers, YES! For foodies, Oh No!

I found our week-end to be a big YES! and a big OH, NO!

The island of Palau Ubin is a fifteen minute bum boat ride from Singapore and the difference between the two places is quite breathtaking. Palau Ubin does not have electricity, it runs on generators. It is mostly jungle and mangrove swamp. There are 4 vans on the island. Downtown boasts of two restaurants, two convenience shops and a bike rental shop. Temples outnumber any other establishment.

On Palau Island there is a nature conservation area called Chek Jawa. We rented bikes and rode there from our hotel. We also visited the next day. We saw an Oriental Pied Hornbill, amazing! A wild boar and her piglets by the shore. Mudskippers!!!



It was quite hot and our hotel was the only place with AC. We stayed at the vastly disappointing Celestial Resort where the rooms are unfinished (see handy man 1, 2 and 3 trying to fix our knobless bedroom door behind which is a trapped husband).



Where "American breakfast" consists of an overeasy egg, 2 hotdogs, canned beans and instant coffee with creamer. While the downtown mom and pop restaurants had veg fried rice, tofu dishes, prawn, fish, chicken, pork, beef and various vegetables the resort restaurant (the very poor Hornbill Restaurant) had a very limited menu especially for the vegetarian eater (many unavailable items) due to "rationing", I was told. Service was also very slow and the background music constisted of Best Hits of the Eagles. My own personal nightmare especially when all one wanted to do was gaze out over the lagoon eating fish and sipping a cold Tiger. For each dinner I relied on my old stand by, fresh thai coconut, rice, salted fish and baby kailan (spinach). YUM! Poor husband, who was not drinking or eating any sugar had to make due with sauteed veggies in a non-descript gravy. By the end of our stay we were sitting down with staff management and giving them a list of things they could improve on. While it was nice of them to listen, we were still overcharged for our "suite" and there was no compensation for our troubles (getting locked in, lack of food, reluctance of chef to "prepare" food etc.)



At the fish spa we hired an army of fish to nibble the dead skin off our feet. At first the sensation is almost unbearable but then you get used to it.



Giant fan palms!!


And Nurse sharks that live in the Lagoon.

Singapore English = Singlish

One stormy morning last week we found the living room floor blanketed with termites. There were little pulsing piles of them in spots, still slightly alive I guess.

Yesterday Booty and I had to leave the house for the day so the pest control dudes could come and rid us of our termites. They needed to rip up several floor boards as the bugs were living inside.

Booty and I spent the morning at Rochester House, a new hang out spot for moms on the west side of Singapore. Rochester House is an outdoor cafe (slightly upscale) which reflects the neighborhood (swank) with an adjoining bungalow house designed for play. The first floor is set up entirely with toys and activities for the 1-6 year old and the second floor is for the older (read jaded) children who play video games and watch movies while mom and dad sip espresso or dine. This location used to be home to the restaurant Cassis. It has been open for 2 weeks.

Booty was in heaven and played for 2 hours with all the loud toys she would never have at home. Then she sat for another hour with me and ate lasagne (basania). A little lady she is becoming.

We rode the train home from Buena Vista (a 35 minute train ride) and cabbed it from Bedock. When we returned home after 230 the house was still topsy turvy. The entrance door had the frame ripped out and the furniture was piled up in the middle of the floor.

Tomorrow we are going to Celestial Resort in Pulau Ubin. We will take a bum boat out from Changi ferry. It will be a rustic vacation, and cheaper. So it suits me fine. Also a 10 minute bumboat ride from Singapore. How can you beat that? I know, just stay home huh?

We may not be going anywhere this weekend due to the fact that some unnamed people don't check their passports to see if they have enough pages left for a Visa stamp.
My first thought when I found out was to send a text U R an A** but I edited myself and sat myself down for practice and shut my mouth the heck up. My second thought later was, "so little time so much to get angry about".

When I think these unwelcome thoughts I have to ask myself, "Why are you angry? Does it mean so much to you?" And my answer is of course, "No." SO?

Issues of anger come up again and again for me. This started when I got married and has grown worse the farther away from home I am. And what is home?

Exactly.
Where is safety? I am finding out that safety HAS to be inside me or I am in a deep mess of doo.

This is why I have been taking the time during my "sabbatical" to do some inner work.

Oh. And another thing.
We may not be going to the US this summer due to a number of reasons but the biggest one is that I need to jump start my life so that when I do go back to the States I am returning to a job, life, work etc. I can't continue to enter into other people's culture if I don't have mine fermenting as well.

The math talk went well but I have been down with an upper respitory "thing" since. And now Booty has it as well.

On the up side, hopefully we will be in good shape by next weekend when we are planning on going to Batam (45 min. ferry ride) with our friends Harpreet and Simi (and their 3 kids).

On the down side, Booty has an incredible cold. And the exterminators are coming tomorrow to start dealing with our TERMITES. Which means out of the house for 6 hours.

On the up side, Booty is sleeping and drinking tea and soup.

Upcoming talk by Elizabeth Doshi

Did you "hate" math growing up? Or does your child dislike it now? Perhaps you are wondering if it matters how math is taught in schools as long as the students "get it". Explore these questions and find out how one Waldorf teacher discovered her hidden love of math.

"Moving Mathematics: A comparative look at the teaching of mathematics in Waldorf and mainstream schools."

Date: Saturday, 17 April

Time: 2-4 pm

Venue: 72 Elite Park Ave


A teaser from my talk...

Why compare mainstream or private school math pedagogy with Waldorf school's? I am interested in exploring how children develop their relationship to their learning (in particular math). I was not fond of math as a child. Was it me or my teachers? In order to answer this we need to ask, What are the ways in which we introduce math topics and teach them? As children grow, does math teaching change? Another important perspective I need to share today is the different methods of evalutation in the public and private sector which I believe makes a profound difference in teaching, specifically the practice of testing compared to assessment. Which comes first, the test or the child? And finally I want to ask one of the most important questions, the one that becomes the hidden lesson “Each day what is being offered to the students or, what is being educated in the child?”

Le renard et l'enfant

A beautiful nature film but with a harsh ending.
Magical and innocent and then at the end suddenly the film turns the young girl ugly-like she grew up and became exploitive.
Warning to parents with young children, don't let your kids watch after the girl "plays leash" with the fox at a logging site. I was a bit surprised at the change of tone.
A morality film?

Finally finished, "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier.



I think the book is very valuable. But not just for those who are adopted. If you have lost your mother (even temporarily) because of death, physical illness, divorce, workaholism, or psychological illness you will see yourself in this book. For many adopted people this book was a breakthrough- verbalizing all kinds of hidden feelings and thoughts. Nancy Verrier is a wonderful speaker and has a great deal of courage to bring forth ideas that are highly controversial and difficult to define.

My only objection to this book is the omission of the spiritual element of destiny. Stop reading now if you don't believe in this mumbo jumbo but I do, so I will continue. If you believe, as I do, that you choose your parents. You also choose your adoptive parents. This means you have a specific destiny with your adopted family, just as you have a genetic destiny that was provided by your birth parents.
By omitting this, you portray the child as a victim who must be healed by destiny issues. This doesn't make sense to me.

My adopting/adopted friends are ALL aware of the genetic differences of their children and they honor these differences and when possible provide occasions for their children to "see themselves" in other faces, and to belong to groups that help to describe their identity. And as our children grow we begin to invite conversations around how we are different and how we can do better.

We are living in a very different time. Many of us have and will return to our children's homelands, (sometimes to work and ease suffering). Most of our friends have helped communities build wells, hospitals, libraries and schools. And there are even families I know who are helping to support organizations that keep children with their mothers, (like in Korea).

I like to focus on the positive and would have liked to have seen some solutions or "ideal situations", instead the ending focused on the physical body of the adopted child.

How about the whole child? Those beautiful eyes! That great singing voice! And Oh! That sense of humor and love of life!!!

It is a long road I know. And as a mom I fail miserably more often than I would like. But I really believe our daughter belongs to us and we belong to her. That means we are all Ethiopian, Indian, and American in our family.
With a dash of Sing-a-POH
LA!

Terima Kasih (Thank You)
Isn't It?

On Tuesday night with my heart in my throat I got into a cab and headed for the airport. Waiting to board the plane to Bali a rainbow blossomed in the sky. Still I felt lost without the person (my daughter) I have spent the last 2 years with 7 days a week.

Landed, after 2 hour flight, in Bali at 940pm. The streets were filled with motorcycles and it had rained. The cab window was open and one motorcyclist rode through a puddle next to the cab and the water came in and splashed my face. I wiped off my glasses and decided not to be indignant.

The retreat/AMC (advanced Meditation Course) was held at the Inna Grand Bali Beach Resort
and my room overlooked the beach and sea.



First night of the AMC (Amateur Meditation Course) we all boarded a cruise ship and had dinner and satsang with Guruji. The speakers were abusively loud but I was a smart cookie and brought earplugs which were in place the entire evening. Too bad I couldn't really enjoy the Bajhan singer, Siddharth Mohan who's voice is very wonderful. Luckily, Guruji winked at me and that makes up for anything bad that happened. (I realize he may have winked at someone else but the feeling at the time was that we connected so who cares?)



Morning practice at 545 is on the beach with the ants and spiders. :)
And lead by Kumlesh who is a Sri Sri Yoga teacher based in the Bangalore ashram and without a doubt one of the most accomplished teachers I have had in Art of Living. Warm, silly, competent, gifted and gorgeous- her form is very balanced. We practiced long Kreeya, Padma Sadana, Sun Salutation and Silliness 101.

Throughout the course the sound system feedback and unexpected stops and starts, added to the constant cell phone ringing, sneezing, coughing, belching, snoring and unearthly noises from people in a deep state of nothingness, all brought me to a state of giddiness unrivaled in my life. It was so beyond the beyond it was hilarious. I began instead of meditating, to entertain myself with What if... At one point I started laughing out of control and the beautiful Swami (Jotimaya) gave me a penetrating look.



The first afternoon we were instructed to change halls and when we arrived Swamiji was giving his blessing. I sat in disbelief for an hour watching the line of people receiving his hand on their heads. My thoughts went from,
"What a waste of time! I don't even know this swami. Why should I get up and stand in line. Don't we have real work to do?"
to
"Look at the way everone's face softens as they approach the swami. Look at how humble people are as they stand before this man, who looks like he is watching a beautiful sunset and who's arm seems untiring."
Just before the last person was blessed I got up and when his hand went to my head I thought of the energy of 100 hugs directed to him. When I looked up he was smiling at me- in understanding. He got my hugs!

In the evening I took the Sahaj Samadhi course and was given a mantra. At first I didn't like my mantra. I had a hard time saying it in my head, (the mantra is a secret that shouldn't be uttered aloud). Eventually it became natural and started to do its "magic".

Most of the Russian group did not engage with anyone outside of their group, that is, no smiling, eye contact, seva, or waiting in line. Perhaps they didn't understand the instructions. But surely they didn't comprehend that it is the Indians' job to cut in line. I thought, "When we are out of silence someone ought to set them straight on this matter."

There were translators for some of the many countries participating.
1 Argentina 2 Australia
3 Austria 4 Bahrain
5 Belgium 6 Brazil
7 Bulgaria 8 Cambodia
9 Canada 10 China
11 Cyprus 12 Denmark
13 Egypt 14 Estonia
15 Finland 16 France
17 Germany 18 Greece
19 Hungary 20 Iceland
21 India 22 Iran
23 Ireland 24 Italy
25 Japan 26 Kuwait
27 Laos 28 Liechtenstein
29 Luxembourg 30 Maldives
31 Malta 32 Mexico
33 Monaco 34 Netherlands
35 New Zealand 36 Norway
37 Oman 38 Poland
39 Portugal 40 Qatar
41 Russia 42 Saudi Arabia
43 South Africa 44 South Korea
45 Spain 46 Surinam
47 Sweden 48 Switzerland
49 Taiwan Territory 50 United Arab Emirates
51 United Kingdom 52 USA

The feedback from the earpieces being worn by those using the translators sounded quite painful at times. No swearing was heard during the entire course. However, during an especially physically difficult practice there were several Chinese men who cried out in Mandarin what sounded like profanities. My friend Joo Hymn let me know they were actually saying stuff like, "I love my entire family!!!!" A good lesson huh?

One of the reasons I was able to sit for most of the day was the twice daily hike to and from the first to tenth floor of the resort. Whenever there was cleaning in one hall the organizers would switch the location of the course to the other hall. The elevators only held 8-10 people at a time and were extremely slow so moving 500 people via 3 elevators didn't seem like a good option for me ( 18 elevator trips) and when I took into consideration that my a** was taking such a beating from all the crossed-leg sitting we were doing I had to take the stairs.



I didn't figure out how to get hot water or AC until the third day. Who would have thought that this button would be the answer to these problems?

Got very hungry at one point in the middle of the course and bought a milk (!!!) chocolate bar with almonds. I don't usually enjoy milk chocolate, but I felt like Charlie eating his first Wonka chocolate. Delicious. Later, my stomach was a little disappointed with my choice as I had until then been eating fruit and salad with rice and dal.

Being in silence when the world around you is cacophonous is a practice fit for our times and well worth the effort. Being in silence when given a seva activity can be a little tricky. I was told to clean the beach of all garbage and leaves. After an hour of cleaning the shore and removing with my bare hands all the trash from the cement garbage catches I was then told to put all the trash back into the same catches I had removed it from, (instead of putting it in a dumpster as I had thought).

Want Nothing
Do Nothing
Be Nothing

This is Something!
As it is hard for the Go! person inside me.
Advice to people like me:
Get lots of excersize and at the very least do 30 minutes of yoga before you do your sitting practice.

After coming out of silence most of my friends wept in gratitude. I did not. I think I was still laughing inside.



On the last day we were arranged in country groups (I with the Singapore group-my friends) and Sri Sri Ravi Shankar my guru made the rounds.
"Are you happy?"



The next morning I went for a swim with JH and then to the spa for a massage which was Heaven! Nothing like my appointments with pain. But then again I was in pretty good shape when I lay down for treatment. A beautiful spa! Ginger tea after in this beautiful garden. KISS!