After the clipper I feel of a light head.
Weep you grown-ups weep!

"All I need is a song in my heart.
Food in my belly.
And love in my family."
-Raffi

Things are changing so fast! Our family (who travelled from India and US) is leaving today.

We are soon to be hiring a live-in Nanny/housekeeper.
I have committed to helping the Waldorf school expand their program to grade school as well as facilitating a playgroup in our home once a week.

I am wishing for some regularity in our life. At least for a while. Lets hope these changes will help us to establish a nice easy schedule and some joyful belongingness with our new community here in Singapore.

Khan you say "Publicity stunt"?

Shah Rukh Khan was held for 66 minutes at the Newark airport in the US because his name came up on immigration's security alert system. Angry fans burned a U.S. flag in protest Sunday. And you shouldn't be surprised.

You see, in India, Bollywood stars like SRK are like gods, who should not be treated like the masses. Why not enforce a "tit-for-tat" policy toward Americans traveling to India? suggested a cabinet-member in India. This idea makes me want to laugh out loud, having lived in India.

Go ahead, I say. Detain Americans. Keep them from coming in. I wish you all had done that to me!

"No ma'am. You aren't allowed in this country. You must return to your country." My reaction would have been like, "Really!!?? OH DARN!"

My question is, why is it that it is ok to profile middle to low-income, hard-working muslim men but not a muslim superstar? Why is any profiling ok?

I have become cynical. I wouldn't be surprised if this was just a publicity stunt for the movie he just made in the US. Khan’s next film, "My Name is Khan", is about an innocent Muslim’s experiences of being mistakenly identified as a terrorist in the United States in the wake of the 9/11 attacks.

All I can think of is how Amitabh Bachchan (my idea of a true bollywood "god") would have reacted to the situation. With a wry smile, I believe he would have taken it in stride and minimalized the whole thing. Probably would have endeared himself to the immigration officer and been let go after 20 minutes.

Some people are like this also.

More US pictures



Visting the botanical gardens in Boothbay, Maine was lovely.



My friend from high school and her daughter from China paid us a visit and we went to Beaver Brook Reservation. That was fun too.



Wingaersheek beach.

Pictures of our US Trip



We Land In US after 20 hours of travel
AND
Our first visit in Massachusetts was with Sun Booty's auntie. She picked us up at the airport and took us to the car rental with all our baggage. For the ride to our studio rental I made the mistake of leaving all my contact information and baggage in her car. I did not know the location/address of the studio but agreed to follow her from the airport. Of course I lost sight of her and we became separated.

For the next hour in a jet-lagged state I made attempts to find her. Without cell phone.

I stopped at a gas station and got a map of Waltham. I remembered the street name on which the studio is located and drove there. No auntie.

After a good deal of heart pounding driving. And by the grace of the divine, (I believe) we made contact and all was well.

I have so many incredible images of our reunion weekend. I just can't help but post another.

Last week our activity was watching Uncle J landscape with his huge tractor and tools. Now there is hay on the grass seeds and hopefully the wild turkeys that come every night won't eat them.

Last week-end was our magnificently successful Ethiopian reunion in NH. Our hosts were inspiring in their generosity and grace. We hope next year we will see more of "Group 59" because it was a wonderful weekend of belongingness.

This week is the week of "The Folders"*. This means that there are a bunch of family members going down into dad's shop and helping mom finish the urgent folder order. This is good for us because it means more FAMILY around to hang out with. YAY!

*The Folders are a product my dad sold for many years before he passed last summer. My mom is still selling these things but not without help. One of my brothers has to periodically fix the machine that makes the folders, a machine my dad built.

It is now blueberry season. Tuesday I bought my first farmstand blueberry pie. No. I don't feel bad about not making it myself because this pie was more delicious than any I would make.

YUM!

Now that the sun has returned to Maine we are doing the things we were planning to do.

Sanbate's uncle J is a landscaper and he has been over here working on the back yard. Yesterday he rode each of the cousins around on his tractor collecting loam from the front and then dumping it in the back. The children were thrilled. This was after a morning at Pemaquid beach. Later we all sat down (3 adults and 6 children) for a pasta dinner. It was a wonderful day.

Tomorrow we drive to New Hampshire for Sunbooty's reunion with group 59, our adoption group. There were 9 other families that flew with us to Ethiopia to pick up our children but this weekend there will be 4 families (possibly 5) meeting. I am really excited to see all of these beauties.

I am trying to edit some of these photos (I mean most of these photos) and haven't been able to on my mom's computer. Anyway.

The sun came out. Booty met our friends from Ethiopia, (their eldest son pictured here with the girl). She had a blast "driving" various vehicles.


Did I say the sun came out?

Our forcast for the week.
Which is the same as the last two weeks.
What can be done?
Mud pies and play dams. Dishwashing outside.
And slug collecting.

Fun things so far in Maine:
Strawberries. Moody's diner. Eating with family. Wild turkeys. Driving in the country. Sanbate with her cousins. xo!

Posting from my mom's computor in Maine!
It has been so much fun for us to be staying with family. And altho' it is raining we have stayed busy. Sister B and her family are moving into their new home next week and their is a lot of excitement in the house.

We were lucky to catch one day last week when it wasn't raining to go to Wingaersheek beach in Gloucester with my best friend from 10th grade who I haven't seen in over 30 years.

When we were in Massachusetts we were able to meet with my dearest friend from High school who adopted a little girl from China. We braved the rain and took our two beauties to Beaver Brook Reservation, another great spot for young children.

The rambutan is a sweet white fleshy fruit with a thorny looking exterior. It is very easy to peel and eat.

A friend just sent me the link to this parenting article by Lisa Belkin published in The Way We Live Now.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/31/magazine/31wwln-lede-t.html

It is interesting to me to read the monikers used for different parenting styles. To me, the phrase "child-centered" means just that, you allow the child to reveal themselves through what you observe and you parent accordingly. But here it means you jump every time the child cries or makes a demand. That would be called "No one is in charge" parenting in my book. But I would agree that the guilt and anxiety I feel over my "bad" parenting is greater and more painful than any feeling of inadequacy I have felt in my entire life. When I sense I have erred with my daughter I feel deserving of a visit from CSS.

Do I hover? I try not to but tend to stay pretty close as my daughter is 1. Needy OR 2.Into Everything. It is a fabulous day when she can play on her own for more than 5 minutes. It is a wonderful day when it is not spent with my daughter clinging to my legs during the hour in which I try to tidy up or do laundry, (having spent the rest of the day singing and playing with her).

Do I feel guilty and anxious as I utter these horrible words? How could you, an adopting mum, feel this way? What is wrong with you?

It is good to hear that other mums feel the way I do. I guess the government couldn't afford to lock us ALL away.

And as my daughter gains her independence, and she has already started, there will be more time to work on projects at home. And soon she will have another adult to play with at home as we will be hiring a live-in to help us manage the house and watch over our beauty-girl. But this can be challenging too. How does one teach another person to, like in the article, "let the child be"? I want Sun Booty to have a healthy sense of self-esteem (not as common in girls) and a curiosity about the world even as she gets big enough to understand the phrase, "I am bored."

And what will I do with my free time? I may take a class. I will most definitely work. And perhaps spend some time with that handsome man I married.

The new view

Our US appliances aren't functional yet because we haven't been able to use our Indian step-down converters, (you know, the huge electrical boxes we had custom-made for the specific wattage of our different appliances). Our local electician will need to cut the plugs off these monsters and wire up the Singapore plugs. Since the voltage is the same, it isn't a problem except for hauling them over to the shop. H will use a heavy duty rolling suitcase to transport them from the cab to the store. Anyone who remembers me telling H when we moved from California, “Don't bring the electronics or appliances!!!” may hear me clear from Singapore say to him, “I f#@$%&* told you so!” Such is the “bliss” of being right all the time.

Before we moved here we heard such wonderful things about public transportation and yet we have not ridden one bus or train?!!! This afternoon I pour through all the map books I have trying to find a way to walk with a stroller or ride with a burley wagon to the nearest train station. I want to ride the train with the baby but I also want it to be fun and not scary. Tomorrow we drop off our bikes at the bike shop around the corner from our house for a tune up. Then we will begin our bike and train adventures.

It is hard to believe we will be travelling to the states in less than three weeks. And when we return we will have family visiting here. So I have got to take a course in “Knowing Singapore” and get ready for a marathon planetrip with Booty.

As you can see we are back to bare gleaming marble floors again.

But tomorrow deliveries begin and it seems our air shipment arrived on Friday and is going through customs.

Today Booty and I went to IMM, a huge mall in Jurong East that has a number of furniture stores on the third level. Afterwards we took a cab to the quarentine station, which is north of Jurong near the zoo.

One of the more difficult requirements of Singapore is that when your pet arrives in Singapore you are not permitted to visit with them to see how they handled the flight or if the quarentine "handler" has the correct pet for quarentine. You just hand a piece of paper to them outside the airport and they are the only ones allowed inside to take your pet. When we visited with the cats later in the day they were really bent out of shape. Who knows what they endured.But today they seemed in much better spirits, purring and rubbing against me.

Singapore is a friendly place. People constantly smile and engage with the baby. They are helpful if you are lost and will offer up useful information. All the cabbies seem to like children and I think this is generally true of Singaporeans. Many public places have play areas for children. And Ikea has a huge play room and offers babysitting, (which I did not utilize because I am not THAT trusting).

Important to note*
Cabs are super expensive here! If you call a cab (instead of catching one) it costs an extra 3 dollars and if you happen to be travelling during peak commuting hours it is an extra 5 dollars.

Singapore Now.

The Conrad in Suntec city, is the same as I remember but our daughter is not.

Over the last few months S has grown enormously and now the things we did before are very different. Like try shopping with "Me, Mine!". Try eating in a nice restaurant when she is tired. Try getting her back in her stroller. Try getting that phone out of her hands.

Like taking candy from a baby?
They weren't talking about Sunbooty.

And I, my dears, am not the patient kind.

Tonite, at the first sign of an emotional storm during sleep transition, (where she lays on my chest and falls asleep) I put her in her crib and kissed her good night. Lights out. Seeya.

It is true I am working with two hours sleep but one would think given the luxurious surroundings I could go with the flow and order another pot of coffee, glass of wine etc.

This morning was worse after I realized I would not be getting any more sleep. I screamed, "Its not fair!" and H cancelled his phone meeting and took S out for one hour so I could take the edge off my painful fog.

The quarentine station is on the west side of town and it takes one half hour to drive there. The cats are ok but barely eating and drinking. Sissy, the shy one, hissed during the entire visit. She wasn't hissing at me but at the situation, ("Who are these other cats in here?!")Their room is like a tiny dog run, but air-conditioned with a view of the outside.The people running it seemed competent.
Tomorrow we will bring by a bed and toys and some smelly shirts of ours.

We are in a hotel in Bangalore now having moved out of our house. Tomorrow we fly for Singapore. The cats will go into quarentine until 30 days from May 5. Our stuff is supposed to arrive in 10 days (air shipment)and one month, (sea shimpent).

Before leaving India we purchased some local crafts like this portable stool with a painting on it. My favorite "before we move out of India" purchase was a red Rajistani armoir with paintings on the doors.

In India there is no such thing as a lime. Or lemon as we know it.
There are only unripe lemons, which are green or greenish yellow. They taste like limes but more sour. Making a good Marguerita here in India is difficult because it is hard to find rock salt and there are only puny green lemons.
Some people would argue that a lime is a baby green lemon. And from my quick ponderings on the web they could be right except that they are listed as different species: Lemon is Citrus x limon and Lime is Citrus x latifolia. What we get here in India doesn't taste quite limey enough which makes my favorite condiment, cilantro chutney, very different tasting. Hmmm.

In India the public restroom is along the side of the road over the gutter. This is also where people can set up shop to sell garden pottery, tender coconuts, rugs, children's toys,motorcycle helmets and other non-essentials. It is also where 50% of the population live, (sleep, bathe, laugh, cook etc.)

In India the time is five and a half hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time which makes people from India confused about appointment times. If the electrician makes an appointment with you for 4pm it is more likely that he will assume the appointment is for 9:30 pm at night at which time he may be busy and end up showing up the next week after you have hired someone else.

In India the best food is found in the portable food stalls located roadside in the cities. Now, if you aren't from India it is best to avoid these places because the flora and fauna that live in the local Indian stomach could beat the sh** out of the flora and fauna that live in your stomach, (which is what happens when you eat such treats). Too bad, you have to go to the posh hotels and eat overpriced western food prepared by locals which usually tastes, uh, different. Best thing to do is go to someone's house. Someone local that is. For dinner.

In India tradespeople (carpenters, plumbers etc.) are not schooled, nor are they usually paid very well so their work is less reliable. Don't get mad! You just paid them eight dollars for 2 hours work! This also applies to pedicurists. So when you find yourself with a toenail fungus, (like me) remember you only paid that woman 5 bucks for 2 hours work! Doesn't help does it?

In India everyone skims off the top. Even the honest people. They have to. That is the only way to survive now that the foreigners have come and jacked up the prices.

In India no-one is expected to follow laws. 'Cause no-one does.
Cool huh?

It has been a hot and stupid week for me. And I don't like to share my moronic side too much or this blog will become a complete waste. Husband has been travelling an impossible amount of time and this takes a big hunk out of my sanity. Partly because of the transitions and partly because he is more helpful than I would like to admit.
This is to explain scant writing. And.

We leave for Singapore in two weeks.

Yeah.

WTF!

Quarentine in Singapore

Reserve your quarentine station cage two months in advance.
We knew this months ago but weren't able to do anything about it since we weren't given the go ahead from Big Daddy Boss Man until two weeks ago. This means we may need to stick around a few weeks longer here in The Bangalore. This is ok because it will take 4 weeks for our stuff to arrive anyway and we were planning on living in a hotel( for 2 weeks) any how.

We also need to hold out for an air conditioned cage for two kitties. This is a requirement as the cats do get dehydrated very easily now that they are old ladies.

Well. One box at a time. If only I could get one box packed I could start the momentum.

Back in Singapore we ate at Jumbo Seafood. This was seafood with the local flava, which the H and I were a little skeptical about. Kind of fishy. More flipper than we were prepared for I think.



Anyway.

Walking around East Coast park beach we were made aware of the surplus of stray cats!Many camping out within yards of each other in the sand. Most with one ear clipped. This means the city has neutered them.

The baby made friends with our house hunter and nick-named him "naughty boy", (because he was late for an appointment). Now, unfortunately she is calling all men who look like they could be Chinese, Naughty Boy. The flight attendant at Singapore Airlines was puzzled by this but his female counterparts were in hysterics laughing.

How does the Singapore change in the seasons? Well, from the 14th floor the fog and rain are very interesting to watch. But are there seasons here? We have been missing the rain in Bangalore. And weather of any kind except for hot and dry.

I watched Revolutionary Road and Frost/Nixon on the plane trip and thought both were excellent, but sad. I don't know why but over the last 3 years I have noticed that movies affect me more deeply and I have to be careful about what I watch. Curious.

Today was a good day.

This morning Sun booty and I slept in (until 7:15) and had a good breakfast together of oatmeal and eggs. She seems to have grown over-night and her mood is happy and content. Our electricity didn't go out for the first morning since we moved here! So, our laundry was done early. L and her mum J came over for lunch and the girls played very well together. L has two older brothers so she is a very easy and happy kid. Her mum is also a very good-natured and kind person, so the company was superb.

After playing at home, our girl went to the playroom at the club with her nanny who she calls Channa (which means garbanzo beans in hindi). I sent the driver out to buy flowers and he came back with roses. :)

I went to the baker's and picked up some quiche, lemon merengue and bread. Their charge card machine was not working and I didn't have enough cash but they said to pay the rest later. This is a routine practice in India. I also found some hair bands that will work in the baby's hair, some light-weight toddler trousers and band-aids that don't wash off in the water, all at the local mall. While shopping on the street is cheaper, sometimes it is hard to find the "picky lady" things there.The malls can be a sad place however, as they are empty most of the time. The expats aren't spending like they used to and the prices at the mall are ridiculous. They like to put things on "sale" (as my brother J says, "Isn't everything for sale?") after they have marked them up sufficiently. For example, a salwar outfit (long top, pants and scarf) will be marked up to 2200 rupees (44 dollars) and then go on "sale" for 50% off. 20 bucks a bargain does not make.

My crack up baby thought that Sissy's bolt from the litter box was worth five minutes of belly laughing, especially as I imitated it over and over. We ended up on the rug laughing heartily together.

As I said, a very good day.

It is raining for the first time in months and the air is cool. The sound of the rain is quite lovely and I wish it would rain all night. The AC needs a rest.

MARCH 19!!!




Today is the girl's second birthday. I am going to give her this book for her birthday, (see slide show version).



Yesterday she had a high fever in the morning (following 4 high fever days), and after being on anti-biotics for four days! Sadly, she missed a trip to a farm with her class. Luckily, she knew nothing about it. I am disappointed seeing that we have been cooped up for days and we are "all about" farms.

Instead we called her pediatrician and had her make a house call to make sure there is nothing further we can do to help the booty girl. The doctor changed her meds from Taxim-o to Augmentin. She thinks Sunboot has a sinus infection and not a chest infection as the doctor at the hospital had thought.

I don't like anti-biotics. But a fever of 103 can only last for so long before one wonders. In India we don't like to messaround.

'Cause today is your birthday!
Dunnanunna Nunna,
We gonna have a good time!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Home One Year!!!

One of our cats sheds a lot and the only one who can brush her properly is Mr. D. Last week he gave me a big ball of hair and I put it in my pocket and forgot about it. Yesterday it came out in the wash in a rounded oval shape. I saw MOUSE. And added felt ears and a tail.

I also finished Sanbates crocheted slippers which she likes to wear to bed.

After all the complaints about not eating in India I had to stop and think. It has not been a fabulous culinary experience certainly.Partly this is because I like food that is raw, or lightly cooked OR cooked very slowly. Indians use a pressure cooker, which cooks the heck out of foods and is, according to the health "experts", not the best way to heat food. There is a smell that comes off a pressure cooker that resembles burnt rubber (this may be the rubber thingy that keeps the pressure valve locked properly).But I also realized that all my favorite Indian cooks are in America. As a rule my sister-in-law makes the best of everything I like and don't like. When making my list of Indian foods I DO like I found that most of what I enjoy is breakfast or snack foods.

Above is a picture of the Dosa, which is a breakfast food. I like it crispy and without sambar (again unless it is made by sister-in-law). Dosas are crispy lentil and rice pancakes served with soup and coconut chutney. The same batter makes idli, which tastes really, really healthy and is steamed instead of fried.The restaurant in San Francisco called "Dosas" makes good ones. The Indian restaurant in Belmont, Ma. also makes good dosas (nice and crispy). We used to have dosas after going to the Lakshmi Temple in Framingham, Ma., at "Udupi Palace", which is now closed. They were Wicked Good!

I also love the snack food, Dohkla at the Indian grocer on Moody street in Waltham, MA. It is also steamed but made with chic pea flour and garnished with cilantro, coconut and mustard seeds. Sister pours a little yogert over hers when it is still hot so it is moist.

Pao Wadda is like a potatoe burger with my favorite garnish, cilantro chutney. I love them at "Hot Breads" in Massachusetts.

Ghatia is a fried chip made from Chic pea (besan) flour. You can't get those here but H's parents bring them from Mumbai. I make myself sick eating them.

The sweets that I like in India are unlike sweets in the US as they are not baked. My favorites are Boondi Laddoo, Aradya, Mysore pak, and Ras Malai. The first two are round, moist cake-like cookies and the pak is like fudge, but made with a lot of gee and cardamom. Ras Malai sits in a sweet milky cardamom sauce and is sort of spongy, so when you bite it all the juice comes out. Sister in law and my h's best friend's wife, N makes them and they would kill you but luckily they only prepare enough of them to force you into hibernation for a day.

When going out for Indian food I usually eat Channa Masala with garlic nan. Channa is chick peas and nan is a flat bread.

When I am at the in-laws I eat everything because it is good. Not so when we go out or our cleaning nanny cooks.

Picky Picky!

My motto is:
If it doesn't taste good, don't eat.
Hence the -20 lbs.

Last night H went back to Singapore and we hope to join him next week now that we know it is a super place for kids.

What is amusing to me is the fact that we have been whining about leaving India for the last 6 months and now that it is happening I think I will miss some people here. Especially baby's friends! Their mum's (and the dads I know) are brilliant as well. Maybe they will come and visit us.

I hope that Sanbate is able to find as many good friends in Singapore and that mommy finds a job she likes. I hope Daddy comes to realize that baby needs a sibling and that starts to "happen". I hope that we can find a house we will stay in for at least 2 years.

In my enthusiasm for finding fresh Buffalo milk last week I drank some without boiling it first.

Desastre!

Diarreah all the next day accompanied by vomitting all night. The next morning, I felt fine. Am I superhuman now?

Husband says children die from unboiled milk here. Gee. In New Hampshire I was drinking fresh cow milk every day in the summer. And I never felt healthier!

Changi Airport, Singapore






Singapore airport is probably one of the best in the world for families travelling with children. It is also a capitalist's dream, housing a massive variety of shops and hotels within the airport.

For families with a little time on their hands there are lovely, modern playgrounds, fish ponds, craft stations and places for children to watch cartoons or clean up. There are also many toy stores for any kind of desire. We ran out of time and rushed our meal because we had spent so much time playing. For me, Singapore airport is kick a**.

Packaging is different here for some things like to go food, and milk. Yesterday we ordered some idli to go for Sanbate. The chutney and sambar were put in bags and the idlis were wrapped in large leaves and then newspaper with string. Milk comes in a bag here. Pouring it can be a challenge so you have to snip a tiny hole in the corner and hold it tight until you are ready and aimed to pour. I have spilled a lot of milk since arriving in India.

Note* Here are three definitions of Toned Milk:

Wiki.answers.com-
Toned Milk is heated to 900c. for 15 seconds. It is then homogenized to reduce the size of its fat globules. Then vitamins are added to milk. After pasteurisation and homogenization it is cooled to 40c.

Encyclopedia.com-
Toned milk is dried, skim milk added to a high‐fat milk such as buffalo milk, to reduce the fat content but maintain the total solids.

Dr.NDTV.com-
Toning can be defined as the addition of the constituted skimmed milk to whole buffalo milk so as to reduce the fat to 3%.

It tastes skim. Buffalo milk is very rich and tasty. We were able to get it easily in Bombay but no on seems to know how to get it here. I should probably keep asking.

Brain dead kya?



Occasionally, we order pizza from my least favorite of all the American pizza chains, Dominoes. And it isn't cheap. Last night I noticed what was on the napkin. Hunger help line? In India? I am sorry, but whoever decided on that one should be jobless. It made me feel like calling the number but I am practicing peacefulness and I don't think what I would have to say would be very kind.



Dolly is sitting here, (she needs a name) with the dishes that momma made. It looks like she needs a refill.

I chose icecream over gold. Inflated icecream at that.

I went to the village to look for simple gold earings for the baby because all she owns now are the nice ones, which she has begun to fiddle with. For 1.8 grams of gold the jeweler wanted 2500 rupees, which is about 50 bucks. This seemed steep to me as the earings were only 22 karat. I walked away with plans of checking the price of gold online.

Afterwards we went to Frosty's to get Ben and Jerry's and danish butter. I paid 1500 rupees for two pints of icecream and a pound of butter. That is about 30 bucks.

The dairy products will be gone in a few days.

Enough I say! It is enough! The US does not have any $ to pump into a stimulus bill! We gave it all away to the auto makers and banks. Please do not, I repeat, do not give any more (fictional) money away!!!

*******************************
This list is posted here with thanks to Alice, my long lost high school friend. She sent me a request via Facebook to make such a list. It took me most of an hour so here it is.

25 Random things about me

I (sometimes)think I am one of the worst people in the world
I worship my daughter and wonder at others who don't
If I can't create I feel destructive
I am a terrible nurse but a great counselor
Being a mom has made me more humble
Moving to India has been the best and worst experience of my life
My husband has helped to make me a better person instead of spoiling me and I am mad about that
I am good at a lot of things but when I am bad at something I suck
I like cleaning floors but hate doing the dishes
I have lost my appetite for food

Don't take away my chocolate
Meditation and yoga are two of my cures
I believe that poverty exists within one's character and that many economically impoverished people are rich with joy
I love movies but I hate TV
I would like to learn how to "Let it go"
I want to teach my daughter Truth, Beauty,Goodness, and Belongingness
I ask the question, "Why don't blue jeans go out of style?"
I want my dad back
I love the smell of horse poop
I am a dog person but have only had one dog

This list is taking me forever!
I like the color of cardboard
I hate chewing gum
It has been a really long time since I dreamed I was flying

I am not the yes and no of my mind

Went to the ashram last Sunday in hopes that the guru was in station but I knew immediately upon arrival he was not. It was very quiet and the parking lots were nearly empty.

The satsang was Lame-O due to the fact that it started at 5pm (instead of the scheduled 430) and ended at 530 (not the usual 6pm) with a half hour of testimony from Art of Living course takers instead.

Luckily the Ayurvedic practitioner was in his office. The study of Ayurveda is "the knowledge of longevity" and the "doshas" air, fire and water that exists within the body. We walked into his office and we were given an immediate consultation. Mine cost twice as much as my husband's (due to my expensive skin color) but later we joked that I received twice as much information. I took notes and the husband did not.

The ashram pharmacy was closed due to the (fictional) satsang so Suresh and I drove around the next day looking for Ayurvedic pharmacies. Kind of interesting where these places are located- EVERYwhere. But they don't stock everything. So search we did until I got tired driving around and sent Suresh into THE CITY. He was gone for 4hours.

My Treatment:
I am Pitta/fire (really?)with a vata/wind imbalance.
Part of my body is not in harmony with the Pitta. (?) Take a guess what part.
My treatment will last 2-3 months and consists of a twice daily dose of the following 3 herbs.

The 4000 year old herb, Ashwagandha is manufactured by Stresscom. This herb is heat neutral and is compared to ginseng because of its anti-inflammatory qualities. It helps in depression, anxiety, paranoia (yes, yes and yes that is me) and is often given to men to increase sperm.

Shatavari (she who posesses 100 husbands) is the female version of Ashwagandha. It is used for reproductive issues and digestion. It is made by Himalaya.

Guduchi Churna was only available in powder, (YUCK). This herb was created when Indra was giving nectar to Rama's dying monkeys as they battled Ravana. A drop from the nectar fell to the ground and up sprang Good Ol' Guduchi. This herb increases strength and is a rejuvenator.

If the ashram pharmacy was open we would be taking Sri Sri Ayurveda products but alas we could not wait until the attendants decided to come back so we may have inferior products. Stay tuned for the effects.

I have been getting back into my "hand work" mode over the last few weeks, knitting, crocheting, felting, sewing and clay modeling. Sanbate's doll has new dresses, and there are some flower fairies hiding in the coconut shell we brought back from Bombay, (mom was making coconut chutney). Sanbate's dolly also has some new clay dishes that are drying out for painting. What fun!




Sanbate really digs this cd, by Amadou and Mariam and prefers to dance with dad than me, (a wild dancer).

Our second entry in I * Heart* Faces photo contest. Please check this site out. The posting photos and their blogs are amazing.

This girl loves to laugh. And scream. And squeal.
Her favorite words of late are commands:

Come!
Go!
Stop!
Baby's turn!

We just got back from visiting mom and dad in Mumbai. Our lovely girl really loves her grandpa. She went to temple with him every day and fed the cows.

HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY!




Our first entry in the I*heart*faces contests is titled,
"I love walking with mom and dad!"

Check out all the fab faces on this site!

Hope Chapel in Bangalore and my sermon for Sunday
CAUTION: RELIGIOUS CONTENT

This morning I went with a fellow volunteer to her church, the Hope Chapel in Bangalore. Every christian church I have visited around the world does it differently. Isn't that wonderful?!

The service was lovely and there was a band that helped us sing all the songs, in english. There was an electric guitarist, sax player, drummer, back up singers, lead singer and a screen that showed the words to the devotional songs.
For some strange reason all the songs sounded like christian versions of The Flaming Lips'. This made it really fun to sing along. And I did my best to rock out. I even added some harmony and variations. In this church calling out, "Amen!" or singing outside the verse is ok.

The pastor is a small sof-spoken man who preached today on the meaning of the slaughtered lamb during passover. He spoke about sin and here is where I got lost. You see, I don't believe people are sinners. I believe we make mistakes because we forget that we are divine beings. I think every human has a shadow, (The Wizard of Earthsea portrays this beautifully), and that we do not lose our shadow even if we are "good" we just get better at forgiveness, gratitude, generosity and tolerance. This makes our shadow less likely to assert itself.

I myself am constantly fighting with my shadow, which makes me a "sinner". I am learning to forgive myself, (and in turn others). I am learning to be thankful, (which helps me to avoid depression). I am learning to be generous (which somehow lessens my desire for things). And my tolerance is beginning to grow. This helps me to forgive myself for not being perfect in my thoughts, emotions and actions.

An enlightened guru once said, "You are perfect as you are. You just need a little work."

After seeing the Golden Globes I have decided to give my own awards based on all the movies I have rented trying to stay sane. Now, unfortunately my picks are based on movies I was able to rent. There were many movies I requested that I could not watch because they were not subtitled or they were dubbed (which I cannot enjoy).

Here is a list of movies I was able to rent that I would give 4 or 5 stars out of 5 stars.

Seven Samurai (1954)

Shoot the Piano Player (1960)
Irma La Douce (1963)
Bullit(1968)

Don (1978)

Missing (1982)

Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
Chungking Express (1996)

There Will be Blood (2007)
Michael Clayton (2007)


Superbad (2007)
Get Smart (2008)

The BFT World's best actor award was extremely difficult to choose because I was torn between George Clooney's magnetic up to the last minute moments in the film “ Michael Clayton” and the character portrayal of Mr. Plainview in “There Will be Blood” by Daniel Day-Lewis which haunted me for weeks. While I think Clooney's role was (by necessity) more subtle, I think the powerful gestures and voice of Day-Lewis rightfully earned him the Golden Globe and Oscar that year. Also, any role that can be expressed as both evil and tender is vastly interesting to me and DDL went full throttle. Incidentally, after the 2007 Oscars George Clooney, Javier Bardem, Daniel Day-Lewis and the actor, James McAvoy, who played the doctor opposite Forest Whitaker's Idi Amin, went out together and all of the men agreed it was Javier that was the superior actor. I disagree. I actually don't think the role he played in No Country for Old Men was an important one. I think the Cohen brothers already made their statement about heartlessness and bravery in the face of it in Fargo. Enough already!

Best supporting actor has to go to one of my favorite Japanese actors, Toshirô Mifune, who makes me giddy when I watch him. I think all my brother Jonathan has to do is see every Akira Kurosawa movie that this actor has been in to agree with me. (Jon, if you are reading this try to see Seven Samurai, Red Beard, Hidden Fortress, Ikiru and Throne of Blood.) But I want everyone to know that I think Tom Wilkinson is easily a winner here (and he is still alive) and I was really spooked by his role in Michael Clayton, (also In the Bedroom). I haven't seen the John Adams movie but since I also really admire the work of Paul Giamatti, and Laura Linney it has got to be good.

Best actress is more difficult because the roles tend to be more limited. In fact, looking over my list of movies I am not struck by one single actress. Is this why women tend to be bad tippers? We are a bad audience for women? OK I will have to say that Faye Wong (Chungking Express) was my favorite although I thought Elisabeth Shue (Leaving Las Vegas) was excellent. It is just that Leaving Las Vegas was such a downer. I mean it really put me in a sad place for a while and I just can't congratulate anyone for making me feel worse than I already do living here in this heartbreaking country. Faye Wong made me happy, her character bouncing around the fast food joint listening at full volumeto “California Dreamin'” by the Mommas and the Poppas. Faye Wong is also credited in the soundtrack for singing two songs in the movie. One is a cover of a Cocteau Twins song. OK. She is a cool lady.

So I guess I only have a few choices for best supporting actress but it easily goes to Tilda Swinton although I have misgivings. You see, every role I have seen her in she has been introspective. Is this Tilda or is she going for subtlety? Anyway, she was totally real in her portrayal of a corporate cannibal who is also human and begs us to ask the question, “What is the price these sharks pay for their utter lack of compassion?”

I want to add here that there are many fabulous actresses out there. For some reason I have not been able to secure any good “Chic flics” since arriving. I am going to mention the actress Oksana Akinshina in “Lilja 4ever” who was absolutely breathtaking in another cruelly depressing movie which takes place in Estonia and Sweden. If I had seen this movie in India I would be giving her any possible awards.

I also want to mention Amitabh Bachchan because his Don is so much better and cooler than Shah Rukh Khan's Don. This is because Chandra Barot's 1978 Don is set in the seventies and is superfly like Curtis Mayfield. Even the music is filled with lots of wah wah petal and of course Amitabh is unusual in that he can get away with being a total fool (really stupid!) AND a superb stud (He Is The Man).

Best Picture goes without any hesitation to Seven Samurai. Also best Director to Akira Kurosawa. The plot is like a sad fairy tale. A village discovers that bandits will pillage their town after the harvest and are so poor all they can offer the 7 samurai who come to their aid is food. The performances are glorious. The battle scenes are stunning. The hand to hand combat is wonderful. The dialog and characters are archetypal and the framing makes the movie a real timeless painting of the human being in moments of agony and honor. When we go to Singapore I am going to purchase all the Kurosawa movies I can.

Best Chase scene goes to Bullit (Directed by Peter Yates) without a doubt. Has anyone noticed how much Daniel Craig (the new Bond) looks like Steve McQueen? I say keep those eyes away from me! Blinding!I. Am. Help. Less.

Most Silly goes to Superbad (Directed by Greg Mottola) altho' sometimes that goofiness was more like low humor (see Austin Powers) but I enjoyed it much more than I thought. I admit that Seth Rogen (who played one of the cops and co-wrote the screenplay) has talent and I will join the masses who can't get enough of the sweetest of all white boys, Michael Cera. He was in one of my favorite movies, Juno, playing a similar role but who cares. We want to scoop him up and give him a scholarship or something.

OK!
Enough Already!
Hey, if you read this entire review you just got awarded Most Patient Reader! How about that?!

Since Hemanshu has been travelling so much we have a new schedule in the morning to which Sanbate is agreable. We sit for a while in bed with a bottle and a toy/book (some zzz for me). We go downstairs with laundry and start a load, (she helps). We go for a run (with a 7 grain cookie!!!), we make coffee/chai and eggs and oatmeal, wash dishes together, I shower while she reads or plays in the bathroom, we brush our teeth and get dressed.

All this by 9 am.




One of my friends in California (who has 4 children) told me her pediatrician advised her to give her children sugar when they were sick. At the time she ignored his words but later found this prescription helpful. Last week when Sun-booty had a slight fever and a cold I gave her the rare lollipop. I think maybe this advice works for children that don't eat refined sugar regularly, not the average child who eats it all day long. Sugar gives you a little boost and maybe that is just the thing to help your immune system launch itself into balance.

She is almost 2.
What does she do?

She goes to school one day a week and learns new songs (which she sings when she is at home).
She plays with play dough and paints.
She likes her new hot wheel cars and loves how easy it is to make them go on marble floors.
She dances with her doll at night with her dad.
She reads her books and the newspaper when she has time.
She rides Bob the bike and slides on the slide.
She cleans the dishes, scrubs the counters and sweeps.

Her element at this point in time is Water.
Her favorite chant is, "Mama, Dada, baby!"

She makes it fun.
Even the day to day things we do.
Are different every day.
Peeking at me in the shower.
And squealing.
Something is hilarious!

She calls out "Mama?"
As if she has a question or something to say.
And I respond "Yes, Baby!"
Only to repeat herself again, "Mama?"

New Year!
Happy?
We try!

I just got off the phone from my mom in Maine. She was over at my sister's because she had lost electricity due to the ice storm. I told her, "Now you know how it feels."

Sanbate has grown into her Ethiopian dresses and looks so regal!

Father D is in Singapore and is trying to find a way to move us their. Cross your fingers. If he does it will be a very merry Christmas indeed.

Sanbate started school one day a week (with me) and wakes up singing;
jingle bells, baa baa black sheep, eensy weensy spider, mary had a little lamb, back in black,
well o.k. maybe not the last one.
Subbu brought her a lovely Hohner c harmonica with which she jams out regularly and impressed our friends last Sunday.

She has also started painting and I am happy to see she spends time really experiencing it instead of one quick stroke and then done.

Today we started dredding her hair and managed one lollipop's worth of dreds-
about 40, (that is, after one lollipop I had to stop because she started weepin' and a walin').

I have worked too hard for this blog to give it up now it is just difficult to post to two blogs at this time, with the move to India and mommyhood being what it is right now, (Hi one year olds!)

So I post a photo of us with good vibes to those who check this blog occasionally.

Our marble floors are now mostly covered. Boxes still need to be unpacked but it is slowly happening.

Drishtee


In India when a woman is pregnant the family hires a pujari (priest) or healer to perform a ritual of cleansing the drishtee that she has accumulated because of all the people staring at her and her belly.

I think that there should be someone to help us with our excess drishtee too. I don't think it is good, (all the glowering) and I wish we could do something about it.

I want to yell out at the men who stare, "NO DRISHTEE! Nora Beta!"
Translated, "No intrusive staring energy, Don't look at me!"
Perhaps I can get someone to spell it out in Kannada for me and I will design a t-shirt.

These ladies sit on the lawns digging out weeds and cutting grass by hand with small clippers.

We went swimming today and played with three girls (two her age) and I was really surprised to see that the other two are more agressive and physically confident than Sanbate. She grew tired of their pushing here and there after 20 minutes and eventually settled in my arms.

"TA ta" She says, which means "See you later" in Hindi, when she is ready to go.

She did a nice face plant at the club in the afternoon when she lost her balance but seemed to recover quickly. My mind went straight to, "Tetanus?" It is more of a gravel scrape than a cut so I don't think I should worry. I gave her arnica and put anti-bacterial cream on it.

Sanbate is back into the books again. When we get our printer I can finally make her book of family and favorite things. It looks like since our shipment is in Chennai, we will soon have our "stuff".

I am thinking about making this blog invitation only. Or starting a new blog. I think it is time.

Petitioning the Lord

Today was the worst so far.
The details of events can only be expressed to those most intimately involved (read spouse and/or REALLY good friend).

I am petitioning the lord
right now.
Refraining from judgment yet offering myself up to the ones who are thinking of me and our baby now.
It is as bad as you might imagine. Items below are secondary to the fact that I am not 100% and therefore at odds with India and motherhood.

Our maid believes she can get more money because I am white. In fact. She thinks she can make twice the amount of what most people make here because of this fact. This she confirmed in a conversation when I told her how upset I was. “But madam, they are Indian families.” We have given her a week to finish up and then we must let her go. Sanbate has really grown to like her and trust her. This is really hard on all of us. Who will help “move the dirt around” when she finishes the week?
Several people have come today for the job wanting half days with full pay. It is quite disheartening. I guess my ancestors were especially oppressive.

I have an Air Tel cell phone which needs to be periodically prepaid. I was completely dumb to the fact that I was running low on minutes, that is until my dear H left the country. Our driver, Suresh, came on his day off to straighten this whole thing out. I am now fully charged but now savvy about this (f***** up) system. What is wrong with sending a bill for minutes used?

This is forgiveness
when you can account for the scars
and keep the girl
from blaming herself for your own
bad choices,
(artistic leanings snuffed).
She is just trying to stretch out
into her first year.

Is the world a beautiful place?

I want to believe,
despite my shortcomings,
YES!

HELLO RAIN.
i FEEL U PUSHING THROUGH.
i CAN SEE THE LEAVES DIPPING DOWN FROM THE WEIGHT OF YOU.
i TURN AWAY FROM THE WINDOW
TO KEEP THOSE OUTSIDE
FROM WITNESSING
MORE RAIN
DRIPPING DOWN
THE LEAVES OF MY FACE
MY NECK
MY UNHAPPY SOUL

BUT RAIN,
YOU DON'T MIND.

The beautful and always changing face of our scrumptious girl pictured here proudly eating all by herself and earlier in Mysore struggling to find something TO DO!