WE are getting the distinct feeling that many people don't really understand that adoption is "having a baby". That the process of adoption is as fraught with pain and difficulties as childbirth. That sometimes you will be unavailable or need to change your schedule at a moments notice.

But if my husband told his new colleagues and boss at work that I was pregnant and due next month they would understand completely and give him all the room and allowances possible.

Instead, they just conveniently "forgot" that we are in this adoption process and became upset today because Mr. D is flying into a "Not safe for business travel" zone.

One who adopts must be in a constant state of vigilence, educating people whether they care or not. Like those that have different physical needs-

Today I had tea with a friend who is deaf, and has a severe physical ailment that is not always active. When she lived out east she had a collie that was a certified assist dog.She was very well known in the community and didn't have to explain herself when she went into shops or needed to take time off. She misses this and is planning on training her sheltie puppy to get certified.

People who are adopting need this sort of thing- a button or something that says, "I am going far away very soon to bring home our child from ***". That way if people want to discuss it they can, if not they will notice the pin and keep it in mind.