She is almost 2.
What does she do?

She goes to school one day a week and learns new songs (which she sings when she is at home).
She plays with play dough and paints.
She likes her new hot wheel cars and loves how easy it is to make them go on marble floors.
She dances with her doll at night with her dad.
She reads her books and the newspaper when she has time.
She rides Bob the bike and slides on the slide.
She cleans the dishes, scrubs the counters and sweeps.

Her element at this point in time is Water.
Her favorite chant is, "Mama, Dada, baby!"

She makes it fun.
Even the day to day things we do.
Are different every day.
Peeking at me in the shower.
And squealing.
Something is hilarious!

She calls out "Mama?"
As if she has a question or something to say.
And I respond "Yes, Baby!"
Only to repeat herself again, "Mama?"

New Year!
Happy?
We try!

I just got off the phone from my mom in Maine. She was over at my sister's because she had lost electricity due to the ice storm. I told her, "Now you know how it feels."

Sanbate has grown into her Ethiopian dresses and looks so regal!

Father D is in Singapore and is trying to find a way to move us their. Cross your fingers. If he does it will be a very merry Christmas indeed.

Sanbate started school one day a week (with me) and wakes up singing;
jingle bells, baa baa black sheep, eensy weensy spider, mary had a little lamb, back in black,
well o.k. maybe not the last one.
Subbu brought her a lovely Hohner c harmonica with which she jams out regularly and impressed our friends last Sunday.

She has also started painting and I am happy to see she spends time really experiencing it instead of one quick stroke and then done.

Today we started dredding her hair and managed one lollipop's worth of dreds-
about 40, (that is, after one lollipop I had to stop because she started weepin' and a walin').

I have worked too hard for this blog to give it up now it is just difficult to post to two blogs at this time, with the move to India and mommyhood being what it is right now, (Hi one year olds!)

So I post a photo of us with good vibes to those who check this blog occasionally.

Our marble floors are now mostly covered. Boxes still need to be unpacked but it is slowly happening.

Drishtee


In India when a woman is pregnant the family hires a pujari (priest) or healer to perform a ritual of cleansing the drishtee that she has accumulated because of all the people staring at her and her belly.

I think that there should be someone to help us with our excess drishtee too. I don't think it is good, (all the glowering) and I wish we could do something about it.

I want to yell out at the men who stare, "NO DRISHTEE! Nora Beta!"
Translated, "No intrusive staring energy, Don't look at me!"
Perhaps I can get someone to spell it out in Kannada for me and I will design a t-shirt.

These ladies sit on the lawns digging out weeds and cutting grass by hand with small clippers.

We went swimming today and played with three girls (two her age) and I was really surprised to see that the other two are more agressive and physically confident than Sanbate. She grew tired of their pushing here and there after 20 minutes and eventually settled in my arms.

"TA ta" She says, which means "See you later" in Hindi, when she is ready to go.

She did a nice face plant at the club in the afternoon when she lost her balance but seemed to recover quickly. My mind went straight to, "Tetanus?" It is more of a gravel scrape than a cut so I don't think I should worry. I gave her arnica and put anti-bacterial cream on it.

Sanbate is back into the books again. When we get our printer I can finally make her book of family and favorite things. It looks like since our shipment is in Chennai, we will soon have our "stuff".

I am thinking about making this blog invitation only. Or starting a new blog. I think it is time.

Petitioning the Lord

Today was the worst so far.
The details of events can only be expressed to those most intimately involved (read spouse and/or REALLY good friend).

I am petitioning the lord
right now.
Refraining from judgment yet offering myself up to the ones who are thinking of me and our baby now.
It is as bad as you might imagine. Items below are secondary to the fact that I am not 100% and therefore at odds with India and motherhood.

Our maid believes she can get more money because I am white. In fact. She thinks she can make twice the amount of what most people make here because of this fact. This she confirmed in a conversation when I told her how upset I was. “But madam, they are Indian families.” We have given her a week to finish up and then we must let her go. Sanbate has really grown to like her and trust her. This is really hard on all of us. Who will help “move the dirt around” when she finishes the week?
Several people have come today for the job wanting half days with full pay. It is quite disheartening. I guess my ancestors were especially oppressive.

I have an Air Tel cell phone which needs to be periodically prepaid. I was completely dumb to the fact that I was running low on minutes, that is until my dear H left the country. Our driver, Suresh, came on his day off to straighten this whole thing out. I am now fully charged but now savvy about this (f***** up) system. What is wrong with sending a bill for minutes used?

This is forgiveness
when you can account for the scars
and keep the girl
from blaming herself for your own
bad choices,
(artistic leanings snuffed).
She is just trying to stretch out
into her first year.

Is the world a beautiful place?

I want to believe,
despite my shortcomings,
YES!

HELLO RAIN.
i FEEL U PUSHING THROUGH.
i CAN SEE THE LEAVES DIPPING DOWN FROM THE WEIGHT OF YOU.
i TURN AWAY FROM THE WINDOW
TO KEEP THOSE OUTSIDE
FROM WITNESSING
MORE RAIN
DRIPPING DOWN
THE LEAVES OF MY FACE
MY NECK
MY UNHAPPY SOUL

BUT RAIN,
YOU DON'T MIND.

The beautful and always changing face of our scrumptious girl pictured here proudly eating all by herself and earlier in Mysore struggling to find something TO DO!

Friends bring you hair garlands made from Jasmine flowers. No really! They do! And they walk into the market alone, with no fear. The REAL market behind the buildings where the locals do business and they buy flowers wrapped in leaves. And sweets. And sesame tahini. And pack them on their scooter and drive them over to your overpriced hotel room. Yes. That is what friends do.



And when you act like a fool at the Mysore Palace after
all the lovely things they brought for you, they forgive you and forget all about it.

Lots of things to write but not a lot of free time.
We went to two play groups this week. Both were crazy chaotic- I was fondly remembering my colleagues in the early childhood at the waldorf school and thinking how nicely they were able to harness the wild child energy. Moms are fabulous here! They are very welcoming and I haven't felt the need to assert my righteous teacher thoughts upon any of them. So far the families I have met are from England, Germany, Finland, China, India, Canada, France and Spain.

Tomorrow we drive to Mysore to visit C who had a minor (but painful) scootie accident. She had train tickets to come out to us but we decided to postpone that trip so that we could come out as a family. Mr. D travels soon (back to the states) so this is a good opportunity.

We will stay at the Metropole.

It is hard to believe some of the press articles in the Times India. Is this whole Obama's "long lost brother" bit for real? It is hard to take all the spin these days.

Another interesting bit of news. People in Pune (near Bombay) were called in the middle of the night by superstitious relatives telling them not to sleep, (due to unprecidented number of people in the city dying in their sleep). Many stayed up through the night.
Reasons for death?
Astrological.

Poems from far away people



How do you share an empty house with only
gleaming marble floors
and a kitchen in which one camps
but does not cook?

There is a synthetic persian rug,
a fuschia yoga mat
and a mattress on the floor.

The child plays with clothing tags
and boxes
and cell phones
that can no longer be used.

Excitement!
The water has arrived
And the internet,
My life is saved.

We are out of formula
and worse, coffee beans.
Ah, the fascination with those
who lack the good fortune
to taste blueberries, raspberries,
ANY BERRIES!

School children pass by
in their uniforms and white sox,
elderly women in saris
laboring under heavy burdens
adjust their scarves.

What is a convection oven?
What can I bake at 250 degrees?

Two letters arrive
from overseas on the same day.
Colorful cards with long, hand-written messages enclosed.
Proof that I am here
at a 7 line address
needing 94 cents in stamps
for a letter which arrives two weeks later
at our echoing home.

Sister

Why is it

the closer I need you

the farther away you go?



It was Chicago before,

then you came back east

here first,

then New Hampshire

Boston

And California

home again



The pictures that you sent

are fading now,

day by day

Sanbate fades

to amber


I keep checking

my email

are you there yet?

Have you arrived in the land

of fables

and myths


India.



Can you get any further away?

One Corner of my Dad's shop.
These poor clocks will never be lovingly touched by my dad again. What will happen to them now? I miss my dad more than I ever thought I would when he was here among us. It almost seems like now that Dad is gone he is closer than ever. I am envious of my siblings who live near his clocks and things. The smell of the basement workshop would be a nice dad fix for me right now.

THANK GOD ITS INDIAN!!!
wHEN you don't have furniture or toys you improvise with medical tape, egg cartons and leftover blue stickies. Or better yet, empty water bottles.





I don't think I will call the snake catcher although supposedly the snakes here are poisonous. If I die of a snake bite I think it is auspicious as I am born in the year of the snake and I speak parseltongue. Ask me about my snake story.






This is the map I made after going around with Malini who was our relocation expert. I am not going to go negative but she didn't do diddly.

The current administration in Bangalore has decided that drinking and dancing don't mix. They have enacted a law that bans the two together in one club. Also all nightclubs must now close at 11 pm. Bangalore is an international city known for its nightlife and the locals and foreigners are in an uproar.

This god figure overlooks our veranda. Who is it?

August 16

More Mysore sweets!!! Special Mysore Pak from C. We are now addicted.
And kitty girl smells the ghee, yum.

Why do I feel especially guilty for wanting some personal time? Is it because I think my daughter who is adopted should never sense that I don't want to be with her? I do feel I am wrong for getting upset when she exhausts me. It doesn't help when I think, “Well, you signed on for this.” The problem isn't me, or my cranky daughter but we won't delve into this.

My friend is out visiting another mom who has an adopted baby here in India. Mine is napping so we are here waiting for the Internet dude to come and get us back on line. After two weeks of promises from the government network system to show up and connect our Internet we went with a local guy who could come right away and was cheaper. Unfortunately, it is not working and he will have to come back to solve the problem.

We went for a quick dip in the pool and lunch. Sadly, the water was a bit cold for the baby (and me too) and she was not really enjoying herself as much as she has because of her sore teething gums. The food at the club is quite good, especially all the Indian fare. They make dosas in the evening and I suspect they are good. I am looking forward to trying them out. One of the American kids played with us for a little while. She is a natural with babies and has a nice temperament. I haven't had the chance to chat with her mom.

The plumber came today to fix our water heater. It seems the downstairs water is scalding and the upstairs water is tepid. After replacing all the washers on the heater pipes because they were burnt out the plumber told Mr. D that we can't leave the water heaters on or it will cause damage. This was a piece of information that would have been helpful.

We aren't able to get any international papers yet but I am really not ready to give up. India Times is really not a very good paper but it is fine for local stuff. I had hoped for more world coverage and less glamor. I guess the web will have all the information I need.

Tonight H will go to the ashram for satsang which starts after 7 pm. Us chickens will stay home and mind the marble floors

What do you do with a one year old on a Friday night? Give them a bucket and all is made right.

August 15
India's Independents Day

I am still looking for a good video/music/book store. I might have to go to the next town. There are absolutely no walking parks nearby. Only in Bangalore. We have our water delivered and the newspaper (India Times) will be delivered tomorrow.

Yesterday we went to the Police Commissioner's Office to register as resident foreigners. Getting into town was a real crazy traffic nightmare. We got stuck on MG road which has major construction of the new Metro train. Think Big Dig.

This morning Sanbate led us to the playground and Emma's family. Emma is just in from London and has twin three year olds and a baby girl Sanbate's age. We also met Anuja, her husband and son who is the same age as our baby. Anuja has been living in Palm Meadows since before her son was born and she has also lived in San Francisco AND Boston and the midwest. Both ladies seem very nice. Their husbands also.

Friend C comes again today! For two nights! We will pick her up at the local station instead this time and hope that she is able to make the connection at Bangalore.

I watched the rest of Deewar last night with Amitab Bachan and Shashi Kapoor. Altho' it is quite melodramatic and old (with really fake blood) I enjoyed the story line- Two brothers on either side of the law, fighting for their heroic mother's love. As much as I like Shashi, Amitab is peerless.