Loved like a baby

In my family growing up (like many families) it was frowned upon to show weakness or sickness. I learned early on to hide things and became a pollyanna (happy face) and was rewarded for this behavior.

I utilized “baby speak” when I was uncomfortable throughout my childhood and even into adulthood. It was only when I became conscious of it that I stopped. I know many professional women who speak in this way and it endears them to those who would be intimidated by them otherwise. I don’t know any men who do this.

When my daughter who is 7 speaks in this way I immediately acknowledge it by saying, “I know sometimes speaking like a baby is comforting. Like you will be loved like a baby. You feel like you are loveable whether you make a mess or cry. I love you little baby!” I just wish I could feel this way for myself.

Yesterday was the first day without a headache in 2 months. I went to the movies to see ‘Into the Woods” with a friend. I was pleased that it was almost as good as the original with Bernadette Peters. It was the first day I felt close to normal, the fluid from my head subsiding. Less like an anvil for a head.

Today?

I am breathing.