Inutile!

My feet aren't the same.
As before that is, before I moved to hotter climes.
Since I mostly wear flip flops out of doors, and no shoes in doors, my feet have changed and have become soft. Not used to shoes. Of any kind.
I found this out when I walked to the train station last week with a new pair of Sketcher flats.
By the time I reached Bugis Street I had 6 raging blisters. I stopped at the pharmacy and bought some blister covers which only partly worked ( to detail this is to subject you to a fair amount of cringe). And so I stopped at the nearest shoe store and bought, you guessed it, another pair of flip flops. Green Tevas.

My daughter isn't the same either.
Not that I expected her to listen to me and her father when we said, "Do not change! We like you the way you are RIGHT NOW and so no growing up and getting particular." Whoever came up with the phrase "terrible twos" was a year off. As my friend A has said, we are being given "the business". Our girl doesn't know what she wants and therefor we must dance until the entertainment suffices. One of my sisters referred to her son as "the puppet master". Yes. All this is dawning on me now. And just to add more fun to the situation, Mr. D is travelling (He may be at your house right now!) And I have taken myself off prescription "help". When Booty says in regard our sweet friend Minaz, "She's like my mama!" I hear, "I wish she was my mama because my mama is a mean, old bag!" Sigh. Learning curve? Learning? HA! (Very witchy laugh let me tell you).

I have been avoiding other blogs. I have a blog friend who is absolutely brilliant, beautiful (yes you) AND sweet tempered (How do I know? I KNOW.) Because I feel so. so.

I was recently told, by someone I love, that I have not yet met my "destiny" and that something is in the way. Instead of making me feel excited about this- "Oh cool, you mean travelling around the world with these beautiful people is not what I am supposed to do? There is MORE out there WAITING for me?" I feel like, "Oh great! Someone else knows what I know, that I am not accomplishing anything despite my efforts." I am in a word, inutile! Or another, superflu! When you read these words you must say them aloud, in French with an accusatory tone. "In OO Teel!" "Soo Pair Floo!" Thank you.

Somehow just talking in this way makes me feel better.

I just finished "The Lacuna", by Barbara Kingsolver. A sad but beautifully told story of a young writer whose life is changed by his close association with the Rivera/Kahlo household. It is a nice hunk of a book (500 pages) and I was glad of the length and breadth of the tale.

I am now reading, "Say you're one of them" by Uwem Akpan. So far, excellent.

While it appears I am wasting this lifetime away, I have taken on some additional Anthroposophic study. This week we are studying the senses. Not just the 5 you know about but an additional 7 as well. This study of the 12 senses directly and profoundly relates to the development of the child.

I finished two more dresses from the lovely khadi that we bought in Bombay. Perhaps I will ask the da-in-la to purchase more before they visit for the Booty's birthday coming up very soon. "My Pink Birthday! I want a pink dress, and a pink cake and a pink camera and a pink phone with pink buttons!"

All I can think is, "How did it happen?"