Things are changing so fast! Our family (who travelled from India and US) is leaving today.

We are soon to be hiring a live-in Nanny/housekeeper.
I have committed to helping the Waldorf school expand their program to grade school as well as facilitating a playgroup in our home once a week.

I am wishing for some regularity in our life. At least for a while. Lets hope these changes will help us to establish a nice easy schedule and some joyful belongingness with our new community here in Singapore.

Khan you say "Publicity stunt"?

Shah Rukh Khan was held for 66 minutes at the Newark airport in the US because his name came up on immigration's security alert system. Angry fans burned a U.S. flag in protest Sunday. And you shouldn't be surprised.

You see, in India, Bollywood stars like SRK are like gods, who should not be treated like the masses. Why not enforce a "tit-for-tat" policy toward Americans traveling to India? suggested a cabinet-member in India. This idea makes me want to laugh out loud, having lived in India.

Go ahead, I say. Detain Americans. Keep them from coming in. I wish you all had done that to me!

"No ma'am. You aren't allowed in this country. You must return to your country." My reaction would have been like, "Really!!?? OH DARN!"

My question is, why is it that it is ok to profile middle to low-income, hard-working muslim men but not a muslim superstar? Why is any profiling ok?

I have become cynical. I wouldn't be surprised if this was just a publicity stunt for the movie he just made in the US. Khan’s next film, "My Name is Khan", is about an innocent Muslim’s experiences of being mistakenly identified as a terrorist in the United States in the wake of the 9/11 attacks.

All I can think of is how Amitabh Bachchan (my idea of a true bollywood "god") would have reacted to the situation. With a wry smile, I believe he would have taken it in stride and minimalized the whole thing. Probably would have endeared himself to the immigration officer and been let go after 20 minutes.

Some people are like this also.

More US pictures



Visting the botanical gardens in Boothbay, Maine was lovely.



My friend from high school and her daughter from China paid us a visit and we went to Beaver Brook Reservation. That was fun too.



Wingaersheek beach.

Pictures of our US Trip



We Land In US after 20 hours of travel
AND
Our first visit in Massachusetts was with Sun Booty's auntie. She picked us up at the airport and took us to the car rental with all our baggage. For the ride to our studio rental I made the mistake of leaving all my contact information and baggage in her car. I did not know the location/address of the studio but agreed to follow her from the airport. Of course I lost sight of her and we became separated.

For the next hour in a jet-lagged state I made attempts to find her. Without cell phone.

I stopped at a gas station and got a map of Waltham. I remembered the street name on which the studio is located and drove there. No auntie.

After a good deal of heart pounding driving. And by the grace of the divine, (I believe) we made contact and all was well.

I have so many incredible images of our reunion weekend. I just can't help but post another.

Last week our activity was watching Uncle J landscape with his huge tractor and tools. Now there is hay on the grass seeds and hopefully the wild turkeys that come every night won't eat them.

Last week-end was our magnificently successful Ethiopian reunion in NH. Our hosts were inspiring in their generosity and grace. We hope next year we will see more of "Group 59" because it was a wonderful weekend of belongingness.

This week is the week of "The Folders"*. This means that there are a bunch of family members going down into dad's shop and helping mom finish the urgent folder order. This is good for us because it means more FAMILY around to hang out with. YAY!

*The Folders are a product my dad sold for many years before he passed last summer. My mom is still selling these things but not without help. One of my brothers has to periodically fix the machine that makes the folders, a machine my dad built.

It is now blueberry season. Tuesday I bought my first farmstand blueberry pie. No. I don't feel bad about not making it myself because this pie was more delicious than any I would make.

YUM!

Now that the sun has returned to Maine we are doing the things we were planning to do.

Sanbate's uncle J is a landscaper and he has been over here working on the back yard. Yesterday he rode each of the cousins around on his tractor collecting loam from the front and then dumping it in the back. The children were thrilled. This was after a morning at Pemaquid beach. Later we all sat down (3 adults and 6 children) for a pasta dinner. It was a wonderful day.

Tomorrow we drive to New Hampshire for Sunbooty's reunion with group 59, our adoption group. There were 9 other families that flew with us to Ethiopia to pick up our children but this weekend there will be 4 families (possibly 5) meeting. I am really excited to see all of these beauties.

I am trying to edit some of these photos (I mean most of these photos) and haven't been able to on my mom's computer. Anyway.

The sun came out. Booty met our friends from Ethiopia, (their eldest son pictured here with the girl). She had a blast "driving" various vehicles.


Did I say the sun came out?

Our forcast for the week.
Which is the same as the last two weeks.
What can be done?
Mud pies and play dams. Dishwashing outside.
And slug collecting.

Fun things so far in Maine:
Strawberries. Moody's diner. Eating with family. Wild turkeys. Driving in the country. Sanbate with her cousins. xo!

Posting from my mom's computor in Maine!
It has been so much fun for us to be staying with family. And altho' it is raining we have stayed busy. Sister B and her family are moving into their new home next week and their is a lot of excitement in the house.

We were lucky to catch one day last week when it wasn't raining to go to Wingaersheek beach in Gloucester with my best friend from 10th grade who I haven't seen in over 30 years.

When we were in Massachusetts we were able to meet with my dearest friend from High school who adopted a little girl from China. We braved the rain and took our two beauties to Beaver Brook Reservation, another great spot for young children.

The rambutan is a sweet white fleshy fruit with a thorny looking exterior. It is very easy to peel and eat.

A friend just sent me the link to this parenting article by Lisa Belkin published in The Way We Live Now.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/31/magazine/31wwln-lede-t.html

It is interesting to me to read the monikers used for different parenting styles. To me, the phrase "child-centered" means just that, you allow the child to reveal themselves through what you observe and you parent accordingly. But here it means you jump every time the child cries or makes a demand. That would be called "No one is in charge" parenting in my book. But I would agree that the guilt and anxiety I feel over my "bad" parenting is greater and more painful than any feeling of inadequacy I have felt in my entire life. When I sense I have erred with my daughter I feel deserving of a visit from CSS.

Do I hover? I try not to but tend to stay pretty close as my daughter is 1. Needy OR 2.Into Everything. It is a fabulous day when she can play on her own for more than 5 minutes. It is a wonderful day when it is not spent with my daughter clinging to my legs during the hour in which I try to tidy up or do laundry, (having spent the rest of the day singing and playing with her).

Do I feel guilty and anxious as I utter these horrible words? How could you, an adopting mum, feel this way? What is wrong with you?

It is good to hear that other mums feel the way I do. I guess the government couldn't afford to lock us ALL away.

And as my daughter gains her independence, and she has already started, there will be more time to work on projects at home. And soon she will have another adult to play with at home as we will be hiring a live-in to help us manage the house and watch over our beauty-girl. But this can be challenging too. How does one teach another person to, like in the article, "let the child be"? I want Sun Booty to have a healthy sense of self-esteem (not as common in girls) and a curiosity about the world even as she gets big enough to understand the phrase, "I am bored."

And what will I do with my free time? I may take a class. I will most definitely work. And perhaps spend some time with that handsome man I married.

The new view

Our US appliances aren't functional yet because we haven't been able to use our Indian step-down converters, (you know, the huge electrical boxes we had custom-made for the specific wattage of our different appliances). Our local electician will need to cut the plugs off these monsters and wire up the Singapore plugs. Since the voltage is the same, it isn't a problem except for hauling them over to the shop. H will use a heavy duty rolling suitcase to transport them from the cab to the store. Anyone who remembers me telling H when we moved from California, “Don't bring the electronics or appliances!!!” may hear me clear from Singapore say to him, “I f#@$%&* told you so!” Such is the “bliss” of being right all the time.

Before we moved here we heard such wonderful things about public transportation and yet we have not ridden one bus or train?!!! This afternoon I pour through all the map books I have trying to find a way to walk with a stroller or ride with a burley wagon to the nearest train station. I want to ride the train with the baby but I also want it to be fun and not scary. Tomorrow we drop off our bikes at the bike shop around the corner from our house for a tune up. Then we will begin our bike and train adventures.

It is hard to believe we will be travelling to the states in less than three weeks. And when we return we will have family visiting here. So I have got to take a course in “Knowing Singapore” and get ready for a marathon planetrip with Booty.

As you can see we are back to bare gleaming marble floors again.

But tomorrow deliveries begin and it seems our air shipment arrived on Friday and is going through customs.

Today Booty and I went to IMM, a huge mall in Jurong East that has a number of furniture stores on the third level. Afterwards we took a cab to the quarentine station, which is north of Jurong near the zoo.

One of the more difficult requirements of Singapore is that when your pet arrives in Singapore you are not permitted to visit with them to see how they handled the flight or if the quarentine "handler" has the correct pet for quarentine. You just hand a piece of paper to them outside the airport and they are the only ones allowed inside to take your pet. When we visited with the cats later in the day they were really bent out of shape. Who knows what they endured.But today they seemed in much better spirits, purring and rubbing against me.

Singapore is a friendly place. People constantly smile and engage with the baby. They are helpful if you are lost and will offer up useful information. All the cabbies seem to like children and I think this is generally true of Singaporeans. Many public places have play areas for children. And Ikea has a huge play room and offers babysitting, (which I did not utilize because I am not THAT trusting).

Important to note*
Cabs are super expensive here! If you call a cab (instead of catching one) it costs an extra 3 dollars and if you happen to be travelling during peak commuting hours it is an extra 5 dollars.

Singapore Now.

The Conrad in Suntec city, is the same as I remember but our daughter is not.

Over the last few months S has grown enormously and now the things we did before are very different. Like try shopping with "Me, Mine!". Try eating in a nice restaurant when she is tired. Try getting her back in her stroller. Try getting that phone out of her hands.

Like taking candy from a baby?
They weren't talking about Sunbooty.

And I, my dears, am not the patient kind.

Tonite, at the first sign of an emotional storm during sleep transition, (where she lays on my chest and falls asleep) I put her in her crib and kissed her good night. Lights out. Seeya.

It is true I am working with two hours sleep but one would think given the luxurious surroundings I could go with the flow and order another pot of coffee, glass of wine etc.

This morning was worse after I realized I would not be getting any more sleep. I screamed, "Its not fair!" and H cancelled his phone meeting and took S out for one hour so I could take the edge off my painful fog.

The quarentine station is on the west side of town and it takes one half hour to drive there. The cats are ok but barely eating and drinking. Sissy, the shy one, hissed during the entire visit. She wasn't hissing at me but at the situation, ("Who are these other cats in here?!")Their room is like a tiny dog run, but air-conditioned with a view of the outside.The people running it seemed competent.
Tomorrow we will bring by a bed and toys and some smelly shirts of ours.

We are in a hotel in Bangalore now having moved out of our house. Tomorrow we fly for Singapore. The cats will go into quarentine until 30 days from May 5. Our stuff is supposed to arrive in 10 days (air shipment)and one month, (sea shimpent).

Before leaving India we purchased some local crafts like this portable stool with a painting on it. My favorite "before we move out of India" purchase was a red Rajistani armoir with paintings on the doors.

In India there is no such thing as a lime. Or lemon as we know it.
There are only unripe lemons, which are green or greenish yellow. They taste like limes but more sour. Making a good Marguerita here in India is difficult because it is hard to find rock salt and there are only puny green lemons.
Some people would argue that a lime is a baby green lemon. And from my quick ponderings on the web they could be right except that they are listed as different species: Lemon is Citrus x limon and Lime is Citrus x latifolia. What we get here in India doesn't taste quite limey enough which makes my favorite condiment, cilantro chutney, very different tasting. Hmmm.

In India the public restroom is along the side of the road over the gutter. This is also where people can set up shop to sell garden pottery, tender coconuts, rugs, children's toys,motorcycle helmets and other non-essentials. It is also where 50% of the population live, (sleep, bathe, laugh, cook etc.)

In India the time is five and a half hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time which makes people from India confused about appointment times. If the electrician makes an appointment with you for 4pm it is more likely that he will assume the appointment is for 9:30 pm at night at which time he may be busy and end up showing up the next week after you have hired someone else.

In India the best food is found in the portable food stalls located roadside in the cities. Now, if you aren't from India it is best to avoid these places because the flora and fauna that live in the local Indian stomach could beat the sh** out of the flora and fauna that live in your stomach, (which is what happens when you eat such treats). Too bad, you have to go to the posh hotels and eat overpriced western food prepared by locals which usually tastes, uh, different. Best thing to do is go to someone's house. Someone local that is. For dinner.

In India tradespeople (carpenters, plumbers etc.) are not schooled, nor are they usually paid very well so their work is less reliable. Don't get mad! You just paid them eight dollars for 2 hours work! This also applies to pedicurists. So when you find yourself with a toenail fungus, (like me) remember you only paid that woman 5 bucks for 2 hours work! Doesn't help does it?

In India everyone skims off the top. Even the honest people. They have to. That is the only way to survive now that the foreigners have come and jacked up the prices.

In India no-one is expected to follow laws. 'Cause no-one does.
Cool huh?

It has been a hot and stupid week for me. And I don't like to share my moronic side too much or this blog will become a complete waste. Husband has been travelling an impossible amount of time and this takes a big hunk out of my sanity. Partly because of the transitions and partly because he is more helpful than I would like to admit.
This is to explain scant writing. And.

We leave for Singapore in two weeks.

Yeah.

WTF!

Quarentine in Singapore

Reserve your quarentine station cage two months in advance.
We knew this months ago but weren't able to do anything about it since we weren't given the go ahead from Big Daddy Boss Man until two weeks ago. This means we may need to stick around a few weeks longer here in The Bangalore. This is ok because it will take 4 weeks for our stuff to arrive anyway and we were planning on living in a hotel( for 2 weeks) any how.

We also need to hold out for an air conditioned cage for two kitties. This is a requirement as the cats do get dehydrated very easily now that they are old ladies.

Well. One box at a time. If only I could get one box packed I could start the momentum.

Back in Singapore we ate at Jumbo Seafood. This was seafood with the local flava, which the H and I were a little skeptical about. Kind of fishy. More flipper than we were prepared for I think.



Anyway.

Walking around East Coast park beach we were made aware of the surplus of stray cats!Many camping out within yards of each other in the sand. Most with one ear clipped. This means the city has neutered them.

The baby made friends with our house hunter and nick-named him "naughty boy", (because he was late for an appointment). Now, unfortunately she is calling all men who look like they could be Chinese, Naughty Boy. The flight attendant at Singapore Airlines was puzzled by this but his female counterparts were in hysterics laughing.

How does the Singapore change in the seasons? Well, from the 14th floor the fog and rain are very interesting to watch. But are there seasons here? We have been missing the rain in Bangalore. And weather of any kind except for hot and dry.

I watched Revolutionary Road and Frost/Nixon on the plane trip and thought both were excellent, but sad. I don't know why but over the last 3 years I have noticed that movies affect me more deeply and I have to be careful about what I watch. Curious.