I have been getting back into my "hand work" mode over the last few weeks, knitting, crocheting, felting, sewing and clay modeling. Sanbate's doll has new dresses, and there are some flower fairies hiding in the coconut shell we brought back from Bombay, (mom was making coconut chutney). Sanbate's dolly also has some new clay dishes that are drying out for painting. What fun!




Sanbate really digs this cd, by Amadou and Mariam and prefers to dance with dad than me, (a wild dancer).

Our second entry in I * Heart* Faces photo contest. Please check this site out. The posting photos and their blogs are amazing.

This girl loves to laugh. And scream. And squeal.
Her favorite words of late are commands:

Come!
Go!
Stop!
Baby's turn!

We just got back from visiting mom and dad in Mumbai. Our lovely girl really loves her grandpa. She went to temple with him every day and fed the cows.

HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY!




Our first entry in the I*heart*faces contests is titled,
"I love walking with mom and dad!"

Check out all the fab faces on this site!

Hope Chapel in Bangalore and my sermon for Sunday
CAUTION: RELIGIOUS CONTENT

This morning I went with a fellow volunteer to her church, the Hope Chapel in Bangalore. Every christian church I have visited around the world does it differently. Isn't that wonderful?!

The service was lovely and there was a band that helped us sing all the songs, in english. There was an electric guitarist, sax player, drummer, back up singers, lead singer and a screen that showed the words to the devotional songs.
For some strange reason all the songs sounded like christian versions of The Flaming Lips'. This made it really fun to sing along. And I did my best to rock out. I even added some harmony and variations. In this church calling out, "Amen!" or singing outside the verse is ok.

The pastor is a small sof-spoken man who preached today on the meaning of the slaughtered lamb during passover. He spoke about sin and here is where I got lost. You see, I don't believe people are sinners. I believe we make mistakes because we forget that we are divine beings. I think every human has a shadow, (The Wizard of Earthsea portrays this beautifully), and that we do not lose our shadow even if we are "good" we just get better at forgiveness, gratitude, generosity and tolerance. This makes our shadow less likely to assert itself.

I myself am constantly fighting with my shadow, which makes me a "sinner". I am learning to forgive myself, (and in turn others). I am learning to be thankful, (which helps me to avoid depression). I am learning to be generous (which somehow lessens my desire for things). And my tolerance is beginning to grow. This helps me to forgive myself for not being perfect in my thoughts, emotions and actions.

An enlightened guru once said, "You are perfect as you are. You just need a little work."

After seeing the Golden Globes I have decided to give my own awards based on all the movies I have rented trying to stay sane. Now, unfortunately my picks are based on movies I was able to rent. There were many movies I requested that I could not watch because they were not subtitled or they were dubbed (which I cannot enjoy).

Here is a list of movies I was able to rent that I would give 4 or 5 stars out of 5 stars.

Seven Samurai (1954)

Shoot the Piano Player (1960)
Irma La Douce (1963)
Bullit(1968)

Don (1978)

Missing (1982)

Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
Chungking Express (1996)

There Will be Blood (2007)
Michael Clayton (2007)


Superbad (2007)
Get Smart (2008)

The BFT World's best actor award was extremely difficult to choose because I was torn between George Clooney's magnetic up to the last minute moments in the film “ Michael Clayton” and the character portrayal of Mr. Plainview in “There Will be Blood” by Daniel Day-Lewis which haunted me for weeks. While I think Clooney's role was (by necessity) more subtle, I think the powerful gestures and voice of Day-Lewis rightfully earned him the Golden Globe and Oscar that year. Also, any role that can be expressed as both evil and tender is vastly interesting to me and DDL went full throttle. Incidentally, after the 2007 Oscars George Clooney, Javier Bardem, Daniel Day-Lewis and the actor, James McAvoy, who played the doctor opposite Forest Whitaker's Idi Amin, went out together and all of the men agreed it was Javier that was the superior actor. I disagree. I actually don't think the role he played in No Country for Old Men was an important one. I think the Cohen brothers already made their statement about heartlessness and bravery in the face of it in Fargo. Enough already!

Best supporting actor has to go to one of my favorite Japanese actors, Toshirô Mifune, who makes me giddy when I watch him. I think all my brother Jonathan has to do is see every Akira Kurosawa movie that this actor has been in to agree with me. (Jon, if you are reading this try to see Seven Samurai, Red Beard, Hidden Fortress, Ikiru and Throne of Blood.) But I want everyone to know that I think Tom Wilkinson is easily a winner here (and he is still alive) and I was really spooked by his role in Michael Clayton, (also In the Bedroom). I haven't seen the John Adams movie but since I also really admire the work of Paul Giamatti, and Laura Linney it has got to be good.

Best actress is more difficult because the roles tend to be more limited. In fact, looking over my list of movies I am not struck by one single actress. Is this why women tend to be bad tippers? We are a bad audience for women? OK I will have to say that Faye Wong (Chungking Express) was my favorite although I thought Elisabeth Shue (Leaving Las Vegas) was excellent. It is just that Leaving Las Vegas was such a downer. I mean it really put me in a sad place for a while and I just can't congratulate anyone for making me feel worse than I already do living here in this heartbreaking country. Faye Wong made me happy, her character bouncing around the fast food joint listening at full volumeto “California Dreamin'” by the Mommas and the Poppas. Faye Wong is also credited in the soundtrack for singing two songs in the movie. One is a cover of a Cocteau Twins song. OK. She is a cool lady.

So I guess I only have a few choices for best supporting actress but it easily goes to Tilda Swinton although I have misgivings. You see, every role I have seen her in she has been introspective. Is this Tilda or is she going for subtlety? Anyway, she was totally real in her portrayal of a corporate cannibal who is also human and begs us to ask the question, “What is the price these sharks pay for their utter lack of compassion?”

I want to add here that there are many fabulous actresses out there. For some reason I have not been able to secure any good “Chic flics” since arriving. I am going to mention the actress Oksana Akinshina in “Lilja 4ever” who was absolutely breathtaking in another cruelly depressing movie which takes place in Estonia and Sweden. If I had seen this movie in India I would be giving her any possible awards.

I also want to mention Amitabh Bachchan because his Don is so much better and cooler than Shah Rukh Khan's Don. This is because Chandra Barot's 1978 Don is set in the seventies and is superfly like Curtis Mayfield. Even the music is filled with lots of wah wah petal and of course Amitabh is unusual in that he can get away with being a total fool (really stupid!) AND a superb stud (He Is The Man).

Best Picture goes without any hesitation to Seven Samurai. Also best Director to Akira Kurosawa. The plot is like a sad fairy tale. A village discovers that bandits will pillage their town after the harvest and are so poor all they can offer the 7 samurai who come to their aid is food. The performances are glorious. The battle scenes are stunning. The hand to hand combat is wonderful. The dialog and characters are archetypal and the framing makes the movie a real timeless painting of the human being in moments of agony and honor. When we go to Singapore I am going to purchase all the Kurosawa movies I can.

Best Chase scene goes to Bullit (Directed by Peter Yates) without a doubt. Has anyone noticed how much Daniel Craig (the new Bond) looks like Steve McQueen? I say keep those eyes away from me! Blinding!I. Am. Help. Less.

Most Silly goes to Superbad (Directed by Greg Mottola) altho' sometimes that goofiness was more like low humor (see Austin Powers) but I enjoyed it much more than I thought. I admit that Seth Rogen (who played one of the cops and co-wrote the screenplay) has talent and I will join the masses who can't get enough of the sweetest of all white boys, Michael Cera. He was in one of my favorite movies, Juno, playing a similar role but who cares. We want to scoop him up and give him a scholarship or something.

OK!
Enough Already!
Hey, if you read this entire review you just got awarded Most Patient Reader! How about that?!

Since Hemanshu has been travelling so much we have a new schedule in the morning to which Sanbate is agreable. We sit for a while in bed with a bottle and a toy/book (some zzz for me). We go downstairs with laundry and start a load, (she helps). We go for a run (with a 7 grain cookie!!!), we make coffee/chai and eggs and oatmeal, wash dishes together, I shower while she reads or plays in the bathroom, we brush our teeth and get dressed.

All this by 9 am.




One of my friends in California (who has 4 children) told me her pediatrician advised her to give her children sugar when they were sick. At the time she ignored his words but later found this prescription helpful. Last week when Sun-booty had a slight fever and a cold I gave her the rare lollipop. I think maybe this advice works for children that don't eat refined sugar regularly, not the average child who eats it all day long. Sugar gives you a little boost and maybe that is just the thing to help your immune system launch itself into balance.

She is almost 2.
What does she do?

She goes to school one day a week and learns new songs (which she sings when she is at home).
She plays with play dough and paints.
She likes her new hot wheel cars and loves how easy it is to make them go on marble floors.
She dances with her doll at night with her dad.
She reads her books and the newspaper when she has time.
She rides Bob the bike and slides on the slide.
She cleans the dishes, scrubs the counters and sweeps.

Her element at this point in time is Water.
Her favorite chant is, "Mama, Dada, baby!"

She makes it fun.
Even the day to day things we do.
Are different every day.
Peeking at me in the shower.
And squealing.
Something is hilarious!

She calls out "Mama?"
As if she has a question or something to say.
And I respond "Yes, Baby!"
Only to repeat herself again, "Mama?"

New Year!
Happy?
We try!

I just got off the phone from my mom in Maine. She was over at my sister's because she had lost electricity due to the ice storm. I told her, "Now you know how it feels."

Sanbate has grown into her Ethiopian dresses and looks so regal!

Father D is in Singapore and is trying to find a way to move us their. Cross your fingers. If he does it will be a very merry Christmas indeed.

Sanbate started school one day a week (with me) and wakes up singing;
jingle bells, baa baa black sheep, eensy weensy spider, mary had a little lamb, back in black,
well o.k. maybe not the last one.
Subbu brought her a lovely Hohner c harmonica with which she jams out regularly and impressed our friends last Sunday.

She has also started painting and I am happy to see she spends time really experiencing it instead of one quick stroke and then done.

Today we started dredding her hair and managed one lollipop's worth of dreds-
about 40, (that is, after one lollipop I had to stop because she started weepin' and a walin').

I have worked too hard for this blog to give it up now it is just difficult to post to two blogs at this time, with the move to India and mommyhood being what it is right now, (Hi one year olds!)

So I post a photo of us with good vibes to those who check this blog occasionally.

Our marble floors are now mostly covered. Boxes still need to be unpacked but it is slowly happening.

Drishtee


In India when a woman is pregnant the family hires a pujari (priest) or healer to perform a ritual of cleansing the drishtee that she has accumulated because of all the people staring at her and her belly.

I think that there should be someone to help us with our excess drishtee too. I don't think it is good, (all the glowering) and I wish we could do something about it.

I want to yell out at the men who stare, "NO DRISHTEE! Nora Beta!"
Translated, "No intrusive staring energy, Don't look at me!"
Perhaps I can get someone to spell it out in Kannada for me and I will design a t-shirt.

These ladies sit on the lawns digging out weeds and cutting grass by hand with small clippers.

We went swimming today and played with three girls (two her age) and I was really surprised to see that the other two are more agressive and physically confident than Sanbate. She grew tired of their pushing here and there after 20 minutes and eventually settled in my arms.

"TA ta" She says, which means "See you later" in Hindi, when she is ready to go.

She did a nice face plant at the club in the afternoon when she lost her balance but seemed to recover quickly. My mind went straight to, "Tetanus?" It is more of a gravel scrape than a cut so I don't think I should worry. I gave her arnica and put anti-bacterial cream on it.

Sanbate is back into the books again. When we get our printer I can finally make her book of family and favorite things. It looks like since our shipment is in Chennai, we will soon have our "stuff".

I am thinking about making this blog invitation only. Or starting a new blog. I think it is time.

Petitioning the Lord

Today was the worst so far.
The details of events can only be expressed to those most intimately involved (read spouse and/or REALLY good friend).

I am petitioning the lord
right now.
Refraining from judgment yet offering myself up to the ones who are thinking of me and our baby now.
It is as bad as you might imagine. Items below are secondary to the fact that I am not 100% and therefore at odds with India and motherhood.

Our maid believes she can get more money because I am white. In fact. She thinks she can make twice the amount of what most people make here because of this fact. This she confirmed in a conversation when I told her how upset I was. “But madam, they are Indian families.” We have given her a week to finish up and then we must let her go. Sanbate has really grown to like her and trust her. This is really hard on all of us. Who will help “move the dirt around” when she finishes the week?
Several people have come today for the job wanting half days with full pay. It is quite disheartening. I guess my ancestors were especially oppressive.

I have an Air Tel cell phone which needs to be periodically prepaid. I was completely dumb to the fact that I was running low on minutes, that is until my dear H left the country. Our driver, Suresh, came on his day off to straighten this whole thing out. I am now fully charged but now savvy about this (f***** up) system. What is wrong with sending a bill for minutes used?

This is forgiveness
when you can account for the scars
and keep the girl
from blaming herself for your own
bad choices,
(artistic leanings snuffed).
She is just trying to stretch out
into her first year.

Is the world a beautiful place?

I want to believe,
despite my shortcomings,
YES!

HELLO RAIN.
i FEEL U PUSHING THROUGH.
i CAN SEE THE LEAVES DIPPING DOWN FROM THE WEIGHT OF YOU.
i TURN AWAY FROM THE WINDOW
TO KEEP THOSE OUTSIDE
FROM WITNESSING
MORE RAIN
DRIPPING DOWN
THE LEAVES OF MY FACE
MY NECK
MY UNHAPPY SOUL

BUT RAIN,
YOU DON'T MIND.

The beautful and always changing face of our scrumptious girl pictured here proudly eating all by herself and earlier in Mysore struggling to find something TO DO!

Friends bring you hair garlands made from Jasmine flowers. No really! They do! And they walk into the market alone, with no fear. The REAL market behind the buildings where the locals do business and they buy flowers wrapped in leaves. And sweets. And sesame tahini. And pack them on their scooter and drive them over to your overpriced hotel room. Yes. That is what friends do.



And when you act like a fool at the Mysore Palace after
all the lovely things they brought for you, they forgive you and forget all about it.

Lots of things to write but not a lot of free time.
We went to two play groups this week. Both were crazy chaotic- I was fondly remembering my colleagues in the early childhood at the waldorf school and thinking how nicely they were able to harness the wild child energy. Moms are fabulous here! They are very welcoming and I haven't felt the need to assert my righteous teacher thoughts upon any of them. So far the families I have met are from England, Germany, Finland, China, India, Canada, France and Spain.

Tomorrow we drive to Mysore to visit C who had a minor (but painful) scootie accident. She had train tickets to come out to us but we decided to postpone that trip so that we could come out as a family. Mr. D travels soon (back to the states) so this is a good opportunity.

We will stay at the Metropole.

It is hard to believe some of the press articles in the Times India. Is this whole Obama's "long lost brother" bit for real? It is hard to take all the spin these days.

Another interesting bit of news. People in Pune (near Bombay) were called in the middle of the night by superstitious relatives telling them not to sleep, (due to unprecidented number of people in the city dying in their sleep). Many stayed up through the night.
Reasons for death?
Astrological.

Poems from far away people



How do you share an empty house with only
gleaming marble floors
and a kitchen in which one camps
but does not cook?

There is a synthetic persian rug,
a fuschia yoga mat
and a mattress on the floor.

The child plays with clothing tags
and boxes
and cell phones
that can no longer be used.

Excitement!
The water has arrived
And the internet,
My life is saved.

We are out of formula
and worse, coffee beans.
Ah, the fascination with those
who lack the good fortune
to taste blueberries, raspberries,
ANY BERRIES!

School children pass by
in their uniforms and white sox,
elderly women in saris
laboring under heavy burdens
adjust their scarves.

What is a convection oven?
What can I bake at 250 degrees?

Two letters arrive
from overseas on the same day.
Colorful cards with long, hand-written messages enclosed.
Proof that I am here
at a 7 line address
needing 94 cents in stamps
for a letter which arrives two weeks later
at our echoing home.

Sister

Why is it

the closer I need you

the farther away you go?



It was Chicago before,

then you came back east

here first,

then New Hampshire

Boston

And California

home again



The pictures that you sent

are fading now,

day by day

Sanbate fades

to amber


I keep checking

my email

are you there yet?

Have you arrived in the land

of fables

and myths


India.



Can you get any further away?