LANGUAGE is a powerful tool:

"At First Baptist Church of DeKalb, members passed out red ribbons to several dozen people who attended a morning service. The Rev. Joe Sanders offered prayers for the families of victims and relatives of the gunman who killed five students and wounded 16 other people in a lecture hall Thursday before taking his own life."

FAMILIES of victims and RELATIVES of the gunman.
Family implies people that love you and care for you.
Relative implies only that you were legally tied to another by name.

Until we can change this kind of thinking-that we are not responsible for each other (strangers and friends alike) we will continue to experience these kinds of tragedies.
Blame Divides.
We must learn to belong before we can conquer alienation.
I believe it is the thoughts of "I am alone" that lead to these acts of violence. I look at myself when I am committing small acts of violence (on the road, in the grocer's) and I recognise that I am acting out of an impulse of disconnection.

I want to make life easier for others, even people I don't know.
Even people who don't think like me.
This is my prayer.

Shoes for Horizon House

My bud Melanie and I have been gathering donations and supplies for a project, (woven bag shown here) to offer to the waiting children at the orphanage. I am going to need to make the cardboard "looms" and draw out instructions as these children don't speak much english. I hope this little handwork project is fun for them.

We are also bringing beeswax and kite paper for stars, just in case.

Happy Valentine's Day!
My two loves are in Ethiopia
and India.
I hope they are having a heart day.

Last night before turning in I checked my email just to see if the early birds at the US Embassy in Ethiopia had responded to my plea and lo and behold. They had! Our V37 isn't lost after all.
Roller.
Coast.
Her.

Hello Representative Miller,
We know you are busy so we will keep this short.
We are adopting our FIRST child from Ethiopia and our V37 visa has not arrived at the US Embassy in Addis Ababa,Ethiopia.
The National Visa Center has informed us that it WAS sent on February 6, 2008.
We are scheduled to fly on March 6 but we cannot adopt our child (we have been waiting for 17 months) without this confirmation.

Our agency is not able to step in to this governmental matter but has suggested to us that perhaps you can.

Thank you for your time,

*****************************
Here is the email we received:

Dear Family:
I wanted to inform you of a situation that needs your immediate attention. The US Embassy in Ethiopia has informed us that they have NOT received your updated fingerprint clearance. We do understand that you have had your fingerprints recently updated AND that the new approval (called a V 37 cable) should have been sent from the NVC (national visa center) in New Hampshire to the US Embassy in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. The problem is that the US Embassy in Ethiopia is stating that they have NOT received confirmation of this amended V 37 cable for your family.

Why is this important? The US Embassy in Ethiopia will not issue the visa for your Ethiopian child unless they have this cable for your family. This would then mean that a family would need to either delay travel to Ethiopia OR understand the possibility of an extended stay in Ethiopia.

What now? The agency has emailed the US Embassy to ask them if the cable has arrived for your family. Unfortunately, we have not had a response from them. Therefore in order to prevent any delays, we would like to recommend that you take the following actions:

Contact the NVC in NH immediately and request that they please recable your approval and fingerprint clearance as soon as possible to the US Embassy in Ethiopia. Please ensure that you ask them for your case number AND the date that the cable was resent to Ethiopia.

Did this.

Send an email to the US Embassy in Ethiopia. Please provide them with your family name, your date of travel and appointment at the US Embassy. Please ask them to check the status on the amended V 37 cable that was sent from the NVC for your family. If you have your case number (the NVC can give you this number) and the date the new approval was cabled, please include this info in the email.

Did this.

You may also want to contact your local Congressman to advocate on your behalf w/the NVC.

See letter above.

WASHINGTON - The Senate has joined the House in voting to prohibit the CIA from using waterboarding and other harsh interrogation methods.

The Senate approved an intelligence bill Wednesday that restricts the CIA to the 19 interrogation techniques outlined in the Army field manual. That manual prohibits waterboarding, a technique that makes a suspect feel he is drowning.

CIA Director Michael Hayden has said waterboarding may not be legal under current law. President Bush has threatened to veto any bill that limits CIA interrogation techniques.

If P.Bush thinks waterboarding isn't torture why doesn't he try it out for size and be the judge?

The doctor's appointment has been made for our return.
All the paperwork we need to submit to the Ethiopian embassy is complete.
Our home study agency has sent all the readoption paperwork necessary to finalize the US readoption.
Our landlord has agreed to extend our lease in case we need more time.
Have I forgotten anything?

I purchased a car seat today. I chose the type and brand on the advisement of my youngest sister, who is the pro in matters of children and children's products. I say this in seriousness as she is a school social worker, mother of 2 and was a co-worker of mine at a home day care.

She is someone I like to talk to about raising children, which is I admit my favorite subject. Perhaps it is hers as well. I also spoke to my mom and oldest sister in Maine yesterday about buying clothes for our long but underweight child.

You know, I felt somehow included in our family circle for the first time. I finally had a reason to discuss mothering with my mother and sisters. Not that my longtime teaching and caregiving experience didn't count. It is just different.

And I like it.
I YIKE it mummy.

Today we received our travel dates:
We leave for Ethiopia late on March 6 and arrive Saturday morning March 8! It is a 23 hour journey and Addis is 11 hours ahead of us so...

My trembling hands and racing mind can't stop to believe we are moving closer and closer to Sanbate.

We will have one week to start our relationship in Addis Ababa before we take her away from her country, her understanding of life. I am so sad for her and so excited for us.
Is this feeling even possible?

Here is my first Youtube video.
I made it after I got home from dropping Mr. D off at the airport. We were supposed to be flying to Ethiopia today to visit Sanbate but instead he is gone to India for 3 weeks. It is a gorgeous day here, warm and sunny, which makes it worse for missing Mr. D and Sanbate.

Hatchje's new bag.
My design.
Wide eyes in class 3.
"You made that!"
"I did."

Hilary Clinton better back off the "superdelegate" count.

Pledged delegates are those won in primaries and caucuses. Superdelegates are party big-shots. Superdelegates are designed to protect front-runners and make sure dark horses don’t run away with things.

Superdelegates grow in number as the party gets more successful: They include all Democratic members of Congress, members of the Democratic National Committee, Democratic governors.

They also are the party warhorses and include “all former Democratic presidents, all former Democratic vice presidents, all former Democratic leaders of the U.S. Senate, all former Democratic speakers of the U.S. House of Representatives and Democratic minority leaders, as applicable, and all former chairs of the Democratic National Committee.”

Being a superdelegate is usually just a way of getting to go to the convention, cast a meaningless vote and have a good time.

But that could change this year.

And that’s because superdelegates make up one-fifth of all the delegates at the convention, and this year they could determine the nominee.

Full article here.

The system of superdelegates was invented not just to reward party fatcats, but to make sure “fairness” did not get out of hand.

HA HA HA the Gods are having a hootenanny with us!
We just received word that Sanbate's adoption will be finalized within the next day or two. Which means we WON'T be travelling to Ethiopia this weekend and we WON'T be getting the IR3 visa.

This doesn't necessarily mean that we will be travelling within the next month to bring Sanbate home because California's CIS cable did not go through on the first sending.

MERCY!

Poor Mr.D had purchased his plane tickets through work and they are non-refundable.

There is a mumps epidemic at the orphanage and we are feeling a little paranoid now that they have called off our trip. Did they push the case through just so we wouldn't come out? Were they worried about the legal implications if we came down with the mumps and became very sick?


HA HA HA!

I went to vote this morning and the ballot box got jammed.

And no one is calling us back from the adoption agency.

WE are getting the distinct feeling that many people don't really understand that adoption is "having a baby". That the process of adoption is as fraught with pain and difficulties as childbirth. That sometimes you will be unavailable or need to change your schedule at a moments notice.

But if my husband told his new colleagues and boss at work that I was pregnant and due next month they would understand completely and give him all the room and allowances possible.

Instead, they just conveniently "forgot" that we are in this adoption process and became upset today because Mr. D is flying into a "Not safe for business travel" zone.

One who adopts must be in a constant state of vigilence, educating people whether they care or not. Like those that have different physical needs-

Today I had tea with a friend who is deaf, and has a severe physical ailment that is not always active. When she lived out east she had a collie that was a certified assist dog.She was very well known in the community and didn't have to explain herself when she went into shops or needed to take time off. She misses this and is planning on training her sheltie puppy to get certified.

People who are adopting need this sort of thing- a button or something that says, "I am going far away very soon to bring home our child from ***". That way if people want to discuss it they can, if not they will notice the pin and keep it in mind.

I believe in Obama. I am trusting that, yes we can make sacrifices too as Obama clearly suggests. And that those that are on fire with his words will continue to carry the flame when we are slogging through the work of repairing the damages brought on by the current administration.

Here we come Addis Ababa!
There you are
waiting for us.
Children of this earth
Soon we will carry one of your own.

And never before have we seen this homeland.
And never before have taken such risks of the heart.
For surely we will be touched and moved by the pulse of yours.
Ethiopia.

****************************************
We have booked flights to Ethiopia for Saturday the 9th, flying from San Francisco to Washington, DC to to Rome and then to Addis Ababa arriving Sunday night. We plan to visit with Sanbate on the following Monday-Thursday.

I am going to bring some crafts as well for the older children; clay, beeswax, kite-paper for making stars, weaving boards. We won't be bringing the fine child home with us this trip but soon (next month?) we will. yes, say it is so.

I will return home on the 15th and Mr.D will travel on to Bangalore returning home at month's end.

>

My friend Melanie is a marvel.




She started the Abundance Committee at the school just by inspiring others with her positivity. The kindergarten has been expressing their need for funds for doll and puppet making and voila! Melanie gathered together a group of women to make table puppets. If you know me, I am ALL OVER the puppets. In my first class we spent three quarters of a year making marionettes for our Ramayana puppet play. So, of course I was glad to help make puppets at the school.
30+ puppets made and counting!


Here are the lady puppets I am working on. I am keeping the one dressed elegantly in red.

This entire blog post is lifted with permission from the blogger
No Sleep Til Mysore

FAIR IS FOUL
AND FOUL IS FAIR







The Washington Post recently ran a piece called, "In India's huge marketplace, fair skin sells."

It discusses how Eastern European models with dark hair and light skin are being featured in Indian adverts.


"Indians have a longing for that pure, beautiful white skin. It is too deep-rooted in our psyche," said Enakshi Chakraborty, who heads Eskimo India, a modeling agency that brings East European models here. "Advertisers for international as well as Indian brands call me and say, 'We are looking for a gori [Hindi for white] model with dark hair.' Some ask, 'Do you have white girls who are Indian-looking?' They want white girls who suit the Indian palate."

Indians' color fixation is also evident in classified newspaper ads and on Web sites that help arrange marriages. The descriptive terms used for skin color run the gamut: "very fair," "fair," "wheat-ish," "wheat-ish-medium," "wheat-ish-dark," "dark" and "very dark."

Family elders here commonly comment on a newborn baby's color, after checking out the gender. One of the best-selling skin creams in India is called Fair & Lovely. A men's version, Fair and Handsome, was launched last year.

"The Indian mind-set prefers light skin. My pictures are routinely Photoshopped to make me look a bit lighter -- a lot lighter, actually," Riya Ray, 23, a dark-skinned Indian model, said with a laugh. "But when I work in Britain and France, my color is praised as exotic. It is a two-way trend: Indian models are going abroad, and foreign models are coming here."


I can't help but think of Raj, from my first trip in India back in 2002.

He made frequent trips between Mysore and Bangalore on his silver Honda Hero Super Special motorcycle, and was seriously thinking about getting a helmet.

To protect your head? I asked.

"No, Cadda. To protect face from sun."

Huh?

"So I do not become too dark."

Even Desi TJ - who's lived here for eight years - was concerned last month that his skin looked darker after two months in the Subcontinental sun.

Silly man. Doesn't he know that gori girls dig that sh-t?

Apparently not.

It looks like we will travel out to Addis during the second weekend in February.If Sanbate's adoption is finalized before that, we will save the flight for when we travel her home in March.

Seeing her
sitting there
will be such a feast.
Leaving her there will be an impossible puzzle
but every moment can't be defined.
Let time make us hers.