Hi folks! Ready for another review? Well this one really took something out of me because this book was pretty intense for someone about to adopt transracially, or is it triracially? I am getting so confused. I used to read these kinds of books in my twenties and got a lot of fire from their heat. I am older now and have a more mellow perspective on the world.

I like that this book “Outsiders Within” is available and has received some good press. But I think that there are some moments when the book doesn't really serve those for whom it speaks. It is ok that bell hooks (quoted in Chapter 10 Shopping for Children in the International Marketplace ) tells us “white people” that we are adopting internationally because we are looking to spice up our bland sterile lives. She has every right to her opinion but what she does when she makes this kind of statement is judge in the same way that people who are marginalized are judged, that is, without a thought to them as multi-layered human beings doing the best they can.

I can't imagine anyone being foolish enough to go through the agony of international adoption and the demands of multiculturalism because they had a craving for something “exotic”.Perhaps there are people like this who want “trophy” children but I have never met them. As a woman of European American heritage married to a Gujurati Indian, I have a lot of “flavor” in my life already. Our reasons for adopting from Ethiopia are very personal and complex. We are and will always be happy to share our feelings about it with family and friends when they ask. But some of the statements made by the authors in this book indict parents when it is faulty governmental policies and a lack of research that needs to be held accountable.

Why is it so hard to adopt?
Why is reproductive therapy so anti-woman?
Who is making money from the sorrows of the impoverished mother and the woman who cannot be a mother?
Why do some still cling to the idea that all "white" (I really hate this term) people want to harm people of color?
How can someone born into priviledge help to change the system without joining with those that are born into poverty?

This book doesn't answer these questions exactly but it does something more important. Over and over again it states something obvious and crucial. Children who are transracially adopted need to be “seen” in ways that biologically born children do not. In the book “Black baby white hands- A view from the Crib” Jaiya John tells us how he and his brother, the first African American children adopted into a “white” family in New Mexico, were not SEEN. The colorblindness of their (loving but ill informed)family and friends made the subject of their race taboo and created a crisis within them as to their identity.

This is something that was not made clear to those adopting internationally/transracially by the agencies representing them in the years the authors of these books were raised. Things have improved, that is, thanks to books like these, research and the lessons learned by adopting families. Their tales are stones that lead us out of the woods and help us to "See" our children and our children to see themselves in others.

I have a response to bell hooks for her statements regarding my ilk.

When did we start shopping for a child?
I guess this was after we decided against cloning ourselves at the Reproductive laboratory.

Why did we decide to adopt transracially?
Well, it all began when the Hindu male proposed to me and I thought to myself, “How exotic! What a great opportunity to experience domestic servitude like in India here in my own home!”
I accepted of course, and then after the test tube baby debacle we decided it would be best to adopt domestically. But I began to have strange visions of our white son saying something to my husband like, “Listen Darky, shine my cricket shoes or else!” in a British accent no less.

Why Ethiopia?
We've always watched the Boston Marathon. Religiously! And frankly, we want a winner.